Internet Dating Advice – 5 Mistakes To Avoid When Writing Your First Email


 

By Lucas Owen

 

Writing your first email to another member on an online dating site can be a little tricky. Obviously, you want to ensure that you communicate in an effective way to this person on the internet dating site. Doing this will obviously give you the best chance for a response. In this sense, it is important to be aware of what you shouldn’t write. Being aware of this is half the battle after all. Here is what you should avoid.

Simply Writing, “Hi”

You want your first email to this member on the dating website to capture their attention. If your email headline is “hi” then you have already put yourself at a disadvantage. There is a good chance that the member may ignore your email all together and move on to the next one especially if she is a woman. Women typically receive dozens of emails each day so they are not going to bother with emails that start off with an uninspiring headline. Therefore, though it may seem like a natural thing for you to say “hi” when you are just starting to communicate with someone, try to avoid using it in your first email.

Focusing Too Much On Photos

Perhaps you would be able to get away with this on a casual dating site like a Passion.com which is more focused on lighthearted encounters. However, if you are using a more general dating site, your email to a member of interest shouldn’t be focused on their looks. You see that this person is attractive and as a result you send them a message repeatedly complimenting them on their photos. It can be easy to fall into this trap when using an internet dating service. You may even think that there is no harm done because all you are doing is complimenting this person. Well, when that is the primary focus of your first email to this person, it will turn them off and make you appear too shallow. Avoid focusing your email on appearance at all costs.

Sexual References Or Innuendos

You may think that it is cute or even funny to use a sexual reference in your first email to this member on the dating site. However, it is not a good idea to do this on your first email to another member. Remember that this member doesn’t know you yet. They will base what they know about you from the very first email that you send them. If your first email has sexual references in it, no matter how light and playful, it can give this member the wrong idea of the type of person you are. Portraying yourself in this negative light may not have been your initial intention but it is too late. You have lost this member. Therefore, avoid any of these types of references or innuendos in the beginning.

You, You And More YOU

It is not unusual to be slightly anxious when you intend to send an email to another member on a dating website for the first time. As a result, it can be easy to fall into the trap of writing about your good qualities in the hope that these will be attractive to the other member and hence generate a response. Writing about yourself is great but that should only be after you have gotten a conversation going with this member. As a conversation develops naturally, the other member will ask follow up questions in order to learn more about you. However, writing primarily about yourself in the first email to this member on the internet dating website will immediately turn them off. This should not be a time when you are focused on yourself. You should be focused on the other member.

Critiquing

It is natural to critique. Human beings are innately critical creatures. To this end, it is important that you make yourself aware of any critiquing that you may be tempted to write in your first email to this member on the online dating site. It could be something that you think isn’t much of a big deal. For example, you may jokingly critique their favorite sports team and state that your team is much better. You may be doing this as an honest joke and all in good fun. However, remember that this person is not familiar with your humor. They don’t know you yet. They may take this as an insult and not bother responding. Avoid critiquing in any way in your first email so that you do not get off to a bad start.

These are some of the mistakes to avoid in writing your first email to another member on a dating site. By being aware of these, you have completed half the battle. Now, go on and write a fabulous first email.

 

 

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