Internet Dating – 4 Reasons Why You Keep Receiving Messages From Incompatible Members


By Lucas Owen


When you have taken the time to fill out your dating profile on an internet dating site and are hopeful of who may find you, it can be disheartening to continuously receive messages from people who do not match your preferences. You may find it a waste of time and effort to have to delete these messages on a regular basis on the online dating site. There is no absolute solution to this problem. However, there are certain measures you can take to reduce the number of messages that you receive from members that do not match your preferences. Here is what to look for.

Broad Match Preferences

You may want to go back to your match preferences on the online dating site and take a good look at them. Some online dating members are actually luckier than others. For example, actually has a “Cupid Settings” feature that prevents many of its members from experiencing too much of this kind of problem. In short, you may need to narrow down your match preferences or make some necessary adjustments. When your match preferences are too broad or unfocused, other members that aren’t necessarily compatible with you may send you messages. It could be something as simple as adjusting distance, age, activities or even education level in your match preferences on the internet dating site. Even if you think that your preferences are to the point, you may still have to narrow them down some more. The narrower you make it, the more compatible your responses.

Misguided Dating Profile Photos

When internet dating, it is so important to be aware of the types of photos you post to your online dating profile. Oftentimes, it is easy to overlook this. The truth is that some of the photos that you post to your dating profile may not be representative of the type of person you are. For example, let’s say that you post a few photos of yourself dressed up in goth. Perhaps you did this on a dare or on Halloween. However, this is not the person you are. You are not even close to being goth. Other members who are into goth could easily get the wrong idea and send you messages based upon their identification with those photos on your online dating profile. You have to post your photos with care. It can be so easy to unintentionally misrepresent yourself in them and attract the wrong attention.

Match Preferences Section Is Incomplete

This one really requires little explanation. In other to reduce the number of messages that you are receiving from incompatible members on the internet dating site, you have to ensure that you’ve filled out the ENTIRE match preference section. It can be so easy to fill out a few spots and leave others blank because you didn’t think it was really necessary to fill them out. You would be surprised at just how important even the smallest detail could be in helping you reduce the number of messages you receive from incompatible members. Take the time to fill out the ENTIRE preference section.

Dating Profile Essay Isn’t Match Specific

You can actually use the body of your profile essay as a tool to help you reduce the number of messages you receive from incompatible members on the dating site. Sometimes, various members of an internet dating site develop what I call, “Profile Tunnel Vision.” For some reason, they only see what you posted in your photos section and the profile essay itself. The other areas of your profile like the specifics about you or your match preferences somehow fall into what I call their “Profile Blind Spots.” Due to cases like this, it is to your benefit to specify EXACTLY what it is that you are looking for within the body of your dating profile essay. This should be done in a positive sense and not in the negative sense of writing what you DON’T want. The negative sense will only bring you more messages from those that you DON’T want.

Paying attention to these will help you reduce the number of messages from incompatible members and improve your online dating experience.


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