Online Dating Humor: Green Parrot


 

By Lucas Owen

 

Through the matchmaking system of a dating site, Larry has found Evangeline, a fellow die-hard animal lover. They are also strong believers in animal conservation and protection. They decide that for their first date, they will go to a zoo.

They have a great time admiring the animals, especially the exotic ones from foreign lands. Once they reach the exotic parrots area of the zoo, Larry is drawn to a particular green parrot.

“Hey little one, how are you?”

“Scared,” the parrot blurts out.

“Scared? Why on earth would you be scared?”

“Because I am living in captivity here and cannot escape. I wish I was free,” the parrot mourns.

“But you have everything you could possibly want here. You also don’t ever have to worry about animal or human predators. This is the safest place for you to be,” Larry assures.

“I guess you are right, ” the parrot says. “So who is this lovely lady that you have with you?”

“This is Evangeline.”

Evangeline smiles at the parrot.

“Wow, can anyone say “Beautiful.” The parrot says.

Evangeline finds herself strangely blushing.

The parrot is encouraged. “So Evangeline, what do you say to a little one on one time with this parrot. I have got a nice place out back, far away from all the gawkers. We could really get to know each other.”

Evangeline, slightly embarrassed, is unsure of how to respond.

The parrot wouldn’t quit. “By the way, what exactly are you doing with this loser? I mean, look at him. He has no sense of style. I think he is one big phony. With me, you get all the good stuff. I have lived around the world and pleasure is my game. So, what do you say to….”

Larry grabs the parrot.

“Larry! What are you doing?” Evangeline gasped in a panic.

“Granting him his wish,” Larry replies angrily, as he matches toward the zoo exit with the squawking parrot in hand.

 

 

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