Online Dating Humor: Her Cup Overfloweth


 

By Lucas Owen

 

Philip knew that he wanted to make Elise his wife. They had been single for a while before finally finding each other through a dating service. Being traditional, he wanted to ask Elise’s father for his blessing first and foremost. He had only met the man once before and remembered how quiet the man had been. In fact, he didn’t remember the old man saying much at all throughout their dinner meeting. But he did remember that weird look the old man had on his face throughout the dinner meeting.

He went to the father’s house. The man was in the backyard building a fence.

“Hello,” Philip says.

“Who the hell are you? And what the hell are you doing on my property?” the father says, clearly irritated at being interrupted.

“I’m Philip, your daughter’s boyfriend.”

“Oh, hello Roy,” the father says.

Philip smiled. “Um, I came to ask for your blessing. I want to marry your daughter.”

“My daughter?”

“Yeah, Elise.”

“Well Bill, I wish you luck but I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

Philip was taken by surprise. “Why?”

“Don’t know really but good luck to ya. You got my blessing Steve.” The old man went back to working on his fence.

Philip left the backyard feeling strange. That was not what he had expected.

He met Elise later that day at her place. After watching a movie together, he decided that it was time to ask for her hand in marriage.

As he was about to pop the question, the doorbell rang. Elise went to answer it. She was carrying a bouquet of flowers when she returned.

Philip, slightly baffled, asks, “Flowers?”

“Yes, it…” The doorbell rang again. “Sorry, excuse me Philip.” Elise left the room.

She returned carrying a box of chocolates.

“Chocolates?” Philip asks.

“The…” The doorbell rang again interrupting Tricia. “Sorry Philip, I’ll be back.” She left the room again. She was carrying a gift-wrapped basket of perfumes, lotions and make-up when she returned.

“Um,” started Philip confused.

“This is…” The doorbell rang once more. “So sorry Philip, just a moment,” Tricia leaves the room. She is carrying a brand new bottle of white wine with a red bow tied around it when she returns.

“I don’t understand Elise. What is all this?” Philip asks.

“Oh, well,” Elise says with a giddy smile on her face like that of a little girl on her birthday, “this one is from Steve. He is a darling. A pilot you know. Flies all over the world to the most exotic places. Oooh…and this gorgeous bottle of wine is from Roy. He knows I love these. Has his own winery out in the country. It is so beautiful out there. Oh, and the chocolates, gosh, and he got my favorites too. What a dear. The chocolates are from Bill. He knows these drive me crazy. He just knows how to get me in the mood to do…” Elise stopped herself as her mind clearly recollected a recent encounter. “Well, you know.”

Philip could barely swallow. His throat had never felt so dry.

“Sorry for the interruption there Philip.” Elise smiled at him. “Now, what were you going to ask me?”

 

 

Related Humor Stories

Next On The Bench

What A Movie

New Tags

Purple Valentine

Scent