Online Dating Humor: Identity


 

By Lucas Owen

 

Ralph and Louisa met online. Neither of them have a photo on their online dating profiles. However, on his online dating profile, Ralph describes himself as Tall, Fashion-Savvy and Handsome. On her online dating profile, Louisa describes herself as Short, Petite and Cuddly.

After communicating for a few weeks on the dating site, they are prepared to take things to the next level and meet. In their discussions they discover that they actually live very close to each other and frequent the same mall. They decide to meet at the food court of the mall for lunch.

There are a few people at the food court when Dan arrives but none look like the description of Louisa. Dan finds a table and waits. A half an hour later, there is no sign of Louisa. Dan worries that he has been stood up. He uses his cell phone to text Louisa.

“Louisa, are you still coming?”

“What do you mean? I have been waiting for you for a half hour,” Louisa texts.

Dan looks around the barely occupied food court. There were only a handful of people but no sign of Louisa.

“Did we agree to meet at The Palisade Mall?” Dan texts.

“Yes.”

Dan is puzzled. He texts, “I wonder if there is more than one food court at The Palisade Mall.”

“No, there is only one,” Louisa texts.

“This is strange,” Dan texts.

Louisa texts, “I honestly don’t know what’s going on. The only people here are a family of three, an older lady and some guy that looks like he just stepped out of an 1980′s movie. My goodness, what on earth is he wearing? He couldn’t possibly be an inch taller than a Hobbit. That has got to be the ugliest hairpiece I have ever seen.”

Dan unconsciously touches his hairpiece.

The two establish eye contact.

Dan texts back, “You didn’t mention that you Sumo wrestle either.”

PerfectMatch.com - genuine people, REAL LOVE

 

Related Humor Stories

Bonding

An Announcement

I Am Locked Out

Chemistry

An Oil Change

Her Type