Dating Humor: Dog Wars


 

By Lucas Owen

 

When this couple, Donna and Marcus, decide to move in together, they think it is a great idea. Their dogs, Peace and War, seem to get along.

However, when they move in together they spend many sleepless nights listening to the dogs barking at each other. It didn’t make any sense because the dogs got along just fine before the move.

After weeks of constant barking and wasted attempts at calming them down, Donna snaps, “I can’t take this anymore. Your stupid dog isn’t letting me get any sleep!”

“My stupid dog?” Marcus asks incredulous. “It’s your dog that keeps aggravating him.”

“My dog?” Donna is livid. “You know what Marcus? Maybe moving in together wasn’t such a good idea.”

“I agree,” Marcus says.

Days later, Marcus moves out and their relationship ends.

Not long after, Marcus starts to miss Donna and decides to call her. Donna answers on the first ring.

“Donna, it’s Marcus. I am sorry I got mad. I have missed you so much.”

“I have missed you too baby,” Donna responds.

After talking for a few minutes, Marcus says, “Wow, I can’t hear Peace at all. She is so quiet. War has been behaving really quiet too. He is playing in the backyard right now. There must be a way to get them to like each other.”

As though on queue, Peace starts barking.

“Peace, be quiet,” Donna pleads.

Peace ignores her owner and continues.

“Sorry Marcus, what was that?” Donna asks.

“I really want to give our relationship another shot,” Marcus says.

“What?”

“I really want…”

“Peace, be quiet!” Donna yells at her dog. “Sorry Marcus, Peace is being really stubborn. I really need to attend to her. I think she wants a walk. It’s my fault really. I have ignored her all week. It was nice hearing from you. Take care. Bye.” Donna hangs up.

Marcus slowly hangs up his phone.

War runs into the room and cocks his head at Marcus.

Marcus cups War’s head in his hands and whispers. “You are grounded…..Forever.”

 

 

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