Emotional Affair: What Are The Signs?


 

By Lucas Owen

 

Having sex outside of marriage is an extra-marital affair. It’s clear and obvious. However, there is also the case of the emotional affair. It is not always as clear and obvious as the sexual, extra-marital affair. However, emotional affairs do exist and in many cases can be even more potent than the sexual affair. What are the signs that say a spouse is involved in an emotional affair?

Regular Correspondence Without The Spouse’s Knowledge

If the spouse is constantly communicating with this other person either through texts, e-mails, phone calls, instant messages or the like without the other spouse’s knowledge, there is a good chance that this is an emotional affair. The spouse may feel that these are harmless messages and hence it is unnecessary to inform the other spouse about them. However, when secrets start being withheld, that says there may be something else going on beneath the surface.

Looking Forward To Correspondence

When the spouse starts looking forward to communicating with this person, that denotes an emotional connection that has now occurred. This person outside of the marriage is providing the spouse with an outlet that they are not getting at home. Typically, as human beings, when we look forward to corresponding with someone, it is because we have become very fond of that person. Strong fondness of someone outside of marriage is a big sign that an emotional connection has developed.

Playful Becomes Flirty

The relationship with this person started innocently enough. However, things have gone beyond the normal, “how was your day?” messages. In fact, there is a little innuendo thrown in here and there in the messages. It could be a “how was your day?” message with another flirty phrase thrown in. May seem harmless, it was just a brief flirt. The spouse may comment on this person’s sexuality in some way, perhaps praising their sense of style or how sexy they sounded when they made a particular comment. It may not seem like much, but as time goes on, these little flirty comments continue being interjected into conversations. It could even be something as relatively ‘harmless’ as the spouse texting this person a hilarious joke that is sexual in nature.

This Person Fills The Blank Spaces

Oftentimes during the day there are moments when people may have a few minutes to kill without having to engage in any activity. Perhaps that time between activities. The spouse may use these moments to communicate with the person. This means that the person outside of the spouse’s marriage is capturing their thoughts. The spouse is thinking about this person more than they are of the other spouse in the marriage. Hence, this person is beginning to fill a role that is lacking in the relationship. That of communication.

Mood Swings

When the spouse hasn’t heard from this person for a while, perhaps a few days, they may feel unhappy or even moody. This is a powerful sign that the spouse has developed a strong emotional affair with this person. This person has actually reached the point where they affect the spouse’s mood. A person’s mood is in direct correlation with their emotions. By the same token, if the spouse hears from this person and suddenly feels happy, then they have had a swing of emotions. Either way, mood swings are a powerful sign of an emotional affair.

Make Themselves Appear Attractive

The spouse may not be reading too much into it but they are now trying to look their best when they know that they will come across this person during the day. Perhaps it’s a person they work with or see at the gym. Now, the spouse is putting on more make-up than usual or wearing that special cologne because they know full well that they will be coming across this person at some point during the day. It is a sure sign of an emotional affair when a spouse starts trying to make themselves appear more attractive to someone else outside of the marriage.

Sexual Thoughts

The spouse starts catching themselves wondering what it would be like to sleep with this person. They may think this and immediately feel guilt afterward. However, as time goes on, the thoughts come back again and again. Perhaps they even occur while the spouse is having sex with the other spouse in the marriage. These thoughts may seem harmless. After all, they are just thoughts. However, thoughts confirm emotions.

 

 

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