You feel that coming across as a nice guy on online dating sites is a negative.
You have been trying to be yourself in being nice and it hasn’t been working out for you.
The conversations with women that you match with on a dating site just don’t go very far.
You try your best to be as true to the nice guy that you are, but you always end up empty-handed.
This has made you distrust the whole idea that just being yourself on a dating site is worth it.
After all, it always seems to be the guys who aren’t nice and say whatever they please who seem to get it a lot easier when it comes to attracting women.
You shouldn’t be comparing yourself to other guys in this sense.
You aren’t them.
You have your own personality.
Yes, there are women who love bad boys who are able to crack jokes and bring up naughty topics, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t women who love nice guys.
Your issue isn’t that you are nice, your issue is that you are already thinking that you are starting from way behind and that any woman you match with on a dating site is going to quickly figure out that you are boring and choose to move on.
You are already starting your conversation with these women with a negative attitude.
Women sense this.
They sense it when you are being too cautious in how you speak to them and this easily turns them off.
Think about how you would talk to a friend that you are comfortable with.
You normally talk freely.
You don’t watch the words that come out of your mouth so carefully.
You just talk without fear.
That means that if something comes out of your mouth that you weren’t really planning on saying, you just go with it.
You should have this approach with women that you meet on dating sites.
They want to experience the real you.
They don’t want to feel like you are speaking from a script.
They want to feel like you are speaking extemporaneously and oftentimes, this means that there are natural breaks in the structure of conversation as you react in a spontaneous way to something that you just thought about or was said.
Use this approach the next time you are talking to a woman that you have matched with on a dating site.
Be spontaneous and less scripted.
Talk the way you would to a good friend that you are comfortable with.
Being nice does not automatically make you someone that a woman would find boring.
The great thing about online dating is that you are often matched with someone who shares the same interests that you do.
This instantly means that you have something that you are able to use as a conversation starter.
Use this to your benefit.
Don’t use the generic openers that so many nice guys use.
Openers like, “Hi,” “How are you?,” “Having a nice day?,” won’t cut it.
Yes, that would be boring.
She has already seen it a thousand times.
Instead, start with something that she shared in her bio.
Either ask her a good question about it or relate to it by telling her about a similar experience you’ve had.
Start there, be spontaneous, and you will find that there are a lot more women willing to give nice guys a chance on dating sites than you realize.