Online Dating: Am I Becoming Her Pen Pal?

Online Dating: Am I Becoming Her Pen Pal?

Not that you don’t enjoy the text messages and what not, but it’s been several weeks now and you aren’t any closer to getting her to meet you on a date in real life.

Starting out, you were fine with text messaging her.

She had a terrific dating profile that captured your imagination.

The text conversations were effortless, as you would go back and forth for hours.

This has persisted for several weeks, but you aren’t all that happy that your requests to meet up in person have had ambiguous responses.

You didn’t want to push it.

As the gentleman you are, you elected to go at her pace.

After all, you were both getting along so splendidly through text messaging.

That being said, your patience has its limits.

Your last request to meet up received another ambiguous response, something to do with timing.

This ambiguity leaves you wondering whether you have spent these weeks as nothing but a pen pal to her.

Is this what her intention is?

Several weeks of text messaging and nebulous answers to your requests to meet up on a date is a strong sign that you are just that, a pen pal.

If her stated purpose in joining the dating site was to find a long-term relationship, her behavior isn’t consistent with that purpose.

An intention to meet a long-term partner requires a face to face meeting.

It’s been several weeks and the text messaging between you has been nonstop.

With this much texting, you believe she should have a read on what your personality is like and whether common interests are shared.

A reluctance to commit to meeting you on a date is indicative of a woman that prefers to keep this relegated to nothing more than a pen pal relationship.

Have you asked about how long she has been on the dating site and whether she has been out on dates with anyone else?

A woman who has been on the dating site for several months and hasn’t been out on any dates with the men she has matched with, is suspicious.

Her dating profile proclaims that her intention is to meet a long-term partner, yet she hasn’t been out on dates with anyone.

This should alarm you.

It means that she doesn’t want her online dating experience to go beyond that of text messaging, with you or anyone else she matches with on a dating site.

You aren’t her first pen pal relationship.

She has left a trail of pen pal relationships with other men.

It’s natural to think that you have something to do with her reluctance to meet up on a date.

You have had internal debates with yourself questioning whether you have shown sufficient openness to her.

Her reluctance to meet up has nothing to do with that.

The issue is on her end.

She isn’t ready to go beyond text messaging with you or whoever, and much of that has to do with where she is at emotionally.

She isn’t emotionally available to date.

It could stem from a past breakup she isn’t over or a hectic life chock-full of obligations that leaves little room for romance.

Irrespective of the reason, she isn’t emotionally available to you and others.

Don’t stretch this out, desperately hoping she finally comes around to meeting you in person.

She has to work through this stage of her life and come out the other side on her own.

There isn’t a set time for this to happen nor are there guarantees that it does happen.

This leaves you as her pen pal indefinitely.

This isn’t what you want.

Give up this pen pal relationship and move on.