As a middle-aged woman on a dating site, you have had a plethora of men under 30 send you messages of interest.
They write phrases like, “I’m mature for my age,” or “Younger guys have better stamina,” all in an attempt to tempt you to give them a shot and respond to them.
You have nothing against men under 30 who are seeking relationships or hookups on dating sites, but you much prefer talking to older men closer to your age.
You have stated as much in your bio.
It doesn’t seem to detract these younger men from continuously messaging you.
You wish that for once you would receive a message from an older man within the age range of 37-50 years of age.
Alas, men in this older age range have been oddly quiet and you don’t get it.
They definitely exist.
You see their dating profiles.
However, it feels like you don’t exist to them.
Sometimes, you are tempted to message them and get really close to doing it.
You don’t though.
As a middle-aged woman you still hold on to certain traditions in dating.
You want to be courted.
The thought of being the aggressor in initiating a message to an older man on a dating site leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
Growing up, men were the ones who made the first move in initiating conversation, and that was when face to face introductions were the norm.
Surely, face to face introductions are a lot more intimidating than initiating a virtual message to a woman on a dating site.
Nonetheless, these older men are ignoring you.
You have to admit, this isn’t exactly a confidence booster.
No, you aren’t crying into your pillow every night as these older men ignore you and you are lambasted by messages from men under 30.
It hasn’t been that soul-crushing, but this isn’t what you expected from dating sites.
Before you took the plunge into online dating, you had the impression that the online space was where everyone was heading to meet.
The traditional ways of meeting a potential romantic interest through friends, coworkers, acquaintances and family has taken a backseat to online dating and social media.
So many people are meeting each other through those two internet mediums in this day and age.
It’s no surprise.
Thanks to technology, everybody’s heads are stuck on their smartphones when they are out and about.
No one talks to anyone anymore.
Meeting each other online seems to be the only option in a world where people no longer acknowledge each other’s existence when they are going about their business in the real world.
Stuck on tradition, you have been slow to come to this realization.
But this is the new reality we live in as human beings.
So, what do you have to do to get these 37-50 year old men on dating sites to message you?
Message them first.
I know, you don’t want to hear this, but you have to strongly consider it.
You have already acknowledged that the world has changed and old traditions in courtship have segued into something new and different.
If you want to succeed in online dating as an older woman, you must be proactive in initiating messages to men you are interested in.
These 37-50 year old men aren’t as traditional as they once were, given the onset of the internet.
They have adapted too.
To have a better shot at getting them to acknowledge you and take an interest, get into the habit of initiating messages.
Many a time, a message as simple as a polite greeting and a quick reference to a bit of information they included in their bio is all it takes to get a good conversation rolling.
In choosing to be on a dating site, there are certain traditional norms you need to be willing to compromise on.
It doesn’t make you any less worthy as a woman or romantic prospect.
It just means that you are adapting to the times.