There was a match sent to you a while back on a dating app and you two connected.
You went on a number of good dates with him.
Eventually, the chemistry fizzled out or you realized that you no longer wanted to go out on dates with him.
This led to you kindly ending the short relationship.
That wasn’t the end of it.
He has shown up unannounced at your house a few times since then.
For the most part, he has been polite.
Just checking on you so to speak.
Nonetheless, you can tell he wants more.
You see it in his body language.
He is trying so hard to get back to where you two were, although it was a very short-lived situation.
You want the unannounced visits to your house to stop but fear that telling him to stop directly would lead to an escalation.
It’s not that you are worried about your personal safety.
He has never struck you as someone who resorts to violence, but you do want to stop him from showing up unannounced to your house.
Think back to when you told him that you no longer wanted to keep seeing him.
What was his reaction?
Were you transparent about your intent?
A guy who has feelings for you isn’t processing information logically.
When you are ambiguous about ending a relationship, he takes that as a sign that you aren’t sure about it.
Based on this assumption, he hangs on, believing that showing up at your house unannounced sends the message that he still wants this to work out.
To him, it’s about persistence.
When you look back to that moment where you ended the relationship with him, any sense within you that feels like you didn’t convey the message clearly is where you made the mistake.
This means that you have to talk to him again and make it crystal clear that you ended the relationship and wish him the best.
Once he listens to this, there is a chance he no longer shows up unannounced at your house.
In the event he still does, you have to escalate the situation.
Don’t be shy about telling him that you intend to get law enforcement involved if he keeps showing up at your house unannounced.
So many women make the misstep of not getting law enforcement involved early, when they have someone they once dated seemingly stalking them.
Unfortunately, by the time they do, that person who seemed so passive when they dated them has since shown to be the complete opposite.
It doesn’t matter how passive or nonaggressive you believe this guy is.
You dated him for a short while, you don’t know his true history in terms of his propensity for violence or unhealthy obsessive behavior.
Without exception, protect yourself first.
In telling him that any further unannounced visits compels you to get law enforcement involved, he should get the point, but be vigilant.
Consider using the security alarm services of a reputed security company in your house and setting up a few cameras around your house.
It might seem like overkill, but one can never be too safe.
Technically, he is closer to a stranger to you than a friend, being that you met him on a dating app and dated him for a short while.
The women who take this intrusive behavior seriously and take action to quell it early, are the ones who avoid ending up as victims of stalking, harassment, violence, or worse.