People want to know.
What you do for a living is relevant to them.
Dating apps didn’t start this phenomenon.
Being asked about what we do for a living has always been a major part of dating and it existed before dating apps came along.
It feels like it is a lot more than usual because you are using dating apps.
There are a greater number of dating prospects on dating apps. Exponentially greater than what you would encounter in real life.
This means that you are going to get asked about what you do for a living with greater frequency on dating apps.
Yes, it gets irritating after a while.
You are hoping to have a good conversation with someone you just matched with on a dating app and they are suddenly asking you about what you do for a living before you have barely exchanged names.
This is especially annoying when you don’t have a job.
Perhaps you are in the process of looking for one and confident that you will find one soon.
To be asked about what you do for a living when you are in-between jobs is downright awkward.
You are tempted to lie or sugarcoat the truth.
It’s not like you are a lazy bum.
You have had a history of working at jobs and paying your bills.
But life happens and sometimes people are out of a job at an inconveniencing time.
A time they are actively looking for love on a dating app.
Or maybe you do have a job but you aren’t exactly proud of it.
It pays the bills.
However, you have never believed that a job defines who you are as a person nor anyone else.
Whenever you have dated people in your life, you have been way more concerned about their character and values than what they did for a living.
Yet, now that you are on dating apps, everyone seems so incredibly obsessed about what a potential partner does for a living.
It’s superficial in your opinion.
As long as a person is able to take care of themselves and their financial responsibilities, you don’t see a reason why what the person does for a living is so important.
Another thing about this that rubs you the wrong way is how elite it comes off.
What are these people expecting you to say?
That you work in some executive position at a Fortune 500 company?
It all goes back to the superficiality of the question.
Why do people place so much value on the type of job people do?
Yes, it sounds very impressive to say that you are a surgeon at a prestigious local hospital, but is that really what matters when it comes to what makes a relationship work?
In your opinion, someone who holds a great position at his or her job doesn’t necessarily equate to someone who would be a good partner.
You have valid points, but getting asked about what you do for a living has relevancy.
Would an investment banker whose work life is all about numbers be able to connect with a kindergarten teacher?
Would a police officer who works a dangerous job be able to connect with an art professor?
Oftentimes, what we do for work does define who we are as people to an extent.
It takes a certain temperament to work as a project manager.
Pressure, deadlines, the need for constant innovation.
Would someone with this temperament be able to connect with a librarian?
You see, although it sounds superficial to keep getting asked about what you do for a living on dating apps, it doesn’t change the fact that there is merit to this question that isn’t solely superficial by nature.
What people do for a living often speaks to components of their character.
We are drawn to certain jobs based on our personality traits.
Thereby, we learn a lot about a person’s personality traits through what they choose to do for a living.
Sometimes, especially if we work in similar fields, this leads to an easier time in relating to one another and connecting on a romantic level.
Other times, when we don’t work in similar fields, our personality traits are so contradictory that there isn’t anything significant to relate to and a romantic connection is unlikely.