Exes tend to keep tabs on each other.
Especially when the breakup was fairly recently.
Signing up on a dating app to see if the other has done the same is one of the ways many exes keep tabs.
This is done to see whether the ex is actively dating.
This means that there is emotional baggage that has resulted from the breakup.
There is a fear that one of the exes is going to find someone new and neither one wants this.
They want to know that the other is still single.
This sends the message that neither one has moved on, allowing the possibility of getting back together.
The opposite is in effect should you discover that your ex is signed up on a dating app.
A strong sense of hopelessness, disappointment and betrayal kicks in.
Even though this is your ex, the breakup is fairly recent and you were hopeful that your ex wouldn’t have moved on so fast.
You haven’t moved on.
When you signed up on a dating app, you did it with your fingers crossed.
You want to believe that your ex is sad about no longer being together.
You are hoping she is crying herself to sleep at night.
You need that to be the case.
Otherwise, the nights you have been spending wallowing in misery because of the breakup would feel like a complete waste.
In seeing her dating profile, you are hurt that she has apparently moved on so fast.
You scrutinize it, hoping to see a sad and depressed person.
Basically, at this point, you are looking to anything to make you feel better.
You hope that she looks miserable in her dating profile photos.
If she does look miserable, this gives you hope.
It makes you believe that she is emotionally upset about the breakup and that she is on the dating app to either make you jealous or boost her ego with the attention she receives from thirsty men.
This is where you convince yourself that she won’t be on the dating app for long.
Look at how miserable she looks.
Exes who sign up on a dating app to see if the other ex is on there is a common occurrence.
Many a time, exes do see each other on dating apps.
When this happens, there is an instant reflex.
Neither ex wants to make it seem like they haven’t gotten over the other.
So there is a stubborn standoff.
You have seen each other’s dating profile but you don’t message each other.
Neither one of you wants to be the first to confess that you miss the other.
This standoff can go on for a while, neither one wanting to acknowledge the other.
Then, you start mentally and emotionally manipulating each other.
You both upload photos of yourselves looking happier, in conjunction with updating your bios, writing about how amazing life is, insinuating to each other that life has gotten better since the breakup.
But it hasn’t.
You two are miserable.
The dating app has become a tool of manipulation.
Instead of using it for what it is for, finding a new love, you use it as a tool to make the other jealous.
This goes on for months.
The crazy thing is, as long as you two keep playing this game of who-can-make-the-other-more-jealous, neither one of you is aiding the healing process that is required when there is emotional fallout from a breakup.
The energy is negative, making the prospect of ever getting back together that much less likely.