Reply To: The guy I am talking to is being mean and ignoring me

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Hi Noemi,

He may have told you to add his boy Houston on Snap because he was trying to gauge how you would respond to that.

He has already made a feeble attempt at breaking up when he told you that the both of you want different things.

He then backed up that statement by saying that you were crying to him and telling him about all these other girls that he is doing.

Hence, he may have tried to use his roommate in this instance to see whether you would react in a really emotional way, further proving to him that you want a lot more from this casual relationship than he is willing to give you.

Even though you have tried to make him believe that you are just going with the flow because you know that he doesn’t want a relationship, he doesn’t believe that you have truly been going with the flow.

At the bar, you made some assumptions about the possibility that he was hitting up some other girl because he didn’t try to see you while there nor did you hear from him the rest of the night.

The next day, he told you that maybe when you stop making assumptions, he will reply.

He was irritated with you when he responded in this way.

His major fear with you is that you want more out of this.

He is not at a place mentally and emotionally where he would want to give more to his relationship with you than he already is.

Even though you may believe that you have done nothing to warrant this type of behavior, he still feels like you care a lot more for him than you have been trying to let on.

Not only has he sensed it but he has also witnessed it through your behavior.

Hence, he has been ignoring your texts and barely opening your snaps because he wants to create some distance from you.

He is worried that if he continues to give you consistent attention on social media as well as hang out with you every weekend, you are going to become more and more emotionally attached to him.

Again, no matter how hard you try to hide it, he knows that you have started caring for him a lot more than he feels comfortable with and you will only care for him more if he were to continue hanging out and talking to you on a consistent basis.

How you should go about this is to start being more nonchalant with him.

He needs to see that you aren’t getting emotionally attached to him.

This means that you have to avoid complaining about other girls or your dissatisfaction that you don’t get to see him as often as you would want to.

You have to start coming off as though you don’t care about any of this.

This should be your tactic.

It is when you show this kind of nonchalant behavior that you will make him start valuing his relationship with you a lot more.

This is what could make him feel compelled to put in more of an effort to talk to you and hang out with you.

If he keeps getting the sense that you are needy, you will only keep pushing him further and further away from you.

What you should do is stop snapping him so frequently, especially not at 5am.

You need to give him the impression that you have your own life and you are not constantly thinking about him.

Guys often start seriously chasing a girl when they get the impression that the girl doesn’t need them.

You need to develop this level of nonchalance.

If he sends you a random snap without opening your previous snaps, do not respond to that random snap.

Doing this will show him that you are not so incredibly desperate for his attention.

This is how you will start planting the seeds of both desire and doubt in his mind.

It is how you start creating stakes in this relationship.

When a guy starts feeling as though there are stakes, he will start putting in a lot more effort to make a relationship work because he will become fearful that he is on the verge of losing it.

He replied to your text by telling you to leave him alone because in asking him whether he was mad at you, that only made him feel that much more that you are seeking emotional acknowledgment from him and you are too needy.

In asking you to leave him alone, he was seeking some reprieve from your neediness.

What is wrong with him is simply a feeling that this relationship has taken a turn that he never wanted.

He feels like he has to nourish you emotionally and he doesn’t want that kind of responsibility.

He is taking the mean and disrespectful route because he is trying to push against what it is that he knows you want.

He has chosen not to tell you that he is done with the relationship because there is still a part of him that hopes that the relationship can one day get back to how it was when the both of you initially started hooking up and hanging out.