Reply To: Met a new guy and we hit it off pretty quick

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#21256

Luke
Keymaster

Hi Noemi,

Perhaps he did have good intentions.

However, when the intimacy occurred, it may have really changed his entire perspective.

Even though he has told you that he wants to make this work and wants to establish a deep connection with you by getting to know you, his actions are proving otherwise.

He is no longer communicating with you as frequently as he used to.

His lack of communicating also means that he isn’t taking the time to get to know you on a deeper basis by getting into more intricate conversations with you.

He is also not putting out any effort to engage in activities with you outside of hanging out at his place.

His actions aren’t matching his words.

How you act and go about it now depends on how willing you are to accept that he is not looking to be with you.

You have stated that you are prepared for anything and yet, you are still holding on to the belief that he will make this relationship work.

A lot of your hope comes from how he acted in the beginning when he was initiating contact a lot and was seemingly obsessed with you.

A lot has changed since then.

It would be wise to prepare yourself for the very strong likelihood that not only will he not want to try to see you physically before he leaves for Canada, but that when he returns from the Xmas holidays, he will not want to continue this intimate relationship.

With that understanding, you could either wait to see what he does when he returns from Xmas holidays or you could make a decision to end your intimate relationship with him and let him know that before he leaves.

Ending your intimate relationship with him on your own terms before he leaves will free you from the temptation of holding out hope over the Xmas holidays that this intimate relationship can be salvaged.

This will help free your mind.

It could also have an advantageous effect in giving him something to think about over the Xmas holidays while he is in Canada.

Your decisive action would have taken him by surprise.

The sudden loss of the intimate relationship may suddenly make him that much more aware of how much he would miss having you around in the manner that he has gotten used to.

This mental experience alone could make him realize that he actually wants to make this relationship work, for real this time.

Instead of just paying lip service to this, he may actually return after the Xmas holidays with a lot more fervor to develop a deeper connection with you.

He may actually start acting the part instead of just making empty declarations.

If you choose to wait instead, again, you should be prepared for what is most likely coming.

This would be the strong likelihood that he will either tell you that he just wants to be friends or that he will just start ignoring you.