Reply To: Girlfriend wants a break for now

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Hi Manny,

Your girlfriend seems to be sure about her decision to break up with you.

It appears that her resentment and unhappiness has been building up over time.

She asked for space but also told you not to wait for her.

This would indicate that she isn’t trying to save the relationship.

In other words, she’s not really thinking about the prospect of coming back.

If anything, she may be hopeful that you move on.

If you noticed a difference in her behavior when you lost your job two months ago, it may have been due to the dynamics of your relationship with her changing.

Perhaps she felt as though the both of you were no longer on the same path in life.

Perhaps you became a little bit more needy during this time or resentful that you didn’t have a job.

Regardless of what may have happened after you lost your job two months ago, she now feels the need to get away from you.

If you start making a lot of effort to try to get her back, you would only end up pushing her away even more because your desperate efforts would continuously remind her about why she decided to break up with you in the first place.

There is very little hope of getting her back.

It sounds like she has been thinking about doing this for a while.

This was not a spontaneous or sudden decision.

Again, this built up over time.

Normally, when a girl breaks up with you in this way, she’s pretty secure in her decision and most likely won’t want to go back.

Any minuscule hope of getting her back would require that you actually take a step back and leave her be.

Perhaps, with time and space, she may start remembering your positive qualities and the good times that you both had, and come to miss you as a result.

But, there are no guarantees that this will happen.