Suzy
Hey Nelly, can l start by saying thank you for your advice. I really appreciated it x
I have never been through a divorce or married either but l can imagine for him depending on how long he has been together with his ex it’s a very emotionally and physically draining and exhausting experience to get through. I remember someone telling me that it’s important for a guy to be clear of who is, what he is and have a secure income and from my understanding all these from the divorce maybe being threatened.
Man are solution focused therefore he probably can’t find solutions to resolve issues that maybe tangled alongside the divorce, and guys find it difficult to express their emotions and feelings unlike women because it may reflect them as weak and inadequate. His behaviour and response may not be mainly because of you. Sometimes, l myself prefer silence, time and self-isolate myself whether socially or via social media when feeling stressed or overwhelmed until l can get back to the real world with a clear mindset. It might take weeks but l will get to that peace of mind eventually. And that may be what he needs right now.
You really care about him and what him back. But for now l think just be their for him emotionally whether it’s through text or phone call. Don’t call or text him several times if he doesn’t reply, he will eventually get back. But just let him know you are their behind him, supporting him and if he needs anyone to speak to your just one call away. Be his friend, and if he wants more than friendship then make it crystal clear to him you will need to be his priority or at least he will need to have his priorities in order. For me, ideally in this order: 1. God, 2. you, 3. work etc. Because if he doesn’t he will continue playing mind games, make you question your relationship and have unnecessary and unhealthy arguments or disagreements. Please set your standards and make them clear so that not only do you gain control and respect, you will get to know how far and how much he loves you. Also him know you want a committed relationship. Timing to have these conversations is also important, and your standards can be shown through your body language, attitude and behaviour .
Please be patience because it’s only been a week and carry on with your life. Keeping yourself busy and speaking to family and friends in general about anything doesn’t have to be related to him. This may help you to not think about him for a moment and not feel obligated to contact him. You are an amazing person, and he is definitely lucky to you have .
Please take care x
Sorry for any grammar mistake and hope you find it helpful at least.
Many thanks,
Suzy