A confused Ex

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Denise 3 weeks ago.

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  • #24920 Reply

    Gisselle beltran

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    thank you for your videos im constantly watching them for advice, I was with a guy for six years we lived with each other for 1 year unfortunately I intended to break up due to a lot of disrespect and I felt like as I needed some space, Unfortunately once I moved out after three months I seemed to regret it , we’ve been now separated for seven months and we speak on a daily basis he still comes around and sometimes will invite me to places we do have a two-year-old together but it doesn’t seem like he wants to be with me , It’s more like he wants to be friends Last week he was at my place and decided to stay over we did have sex but he didnt sleep with me in the bed I’m kind of confused on his ups and downs with me and every time I don’t respond to him he’ll send me memories of things we used to do or pictures or places we used to go and I’m stuck in this loop trying to figure out what should I do is it best for me to disappear from him and do a no contact ? I feel like he just wants to keep me around because he knows I’m a good person but doesnt want to commit because he’s enjoying his single life of speaking to different females and going out , he is a social worker for a hospital so he is constantly around other females, he wont text me if i dont text him first and when he does text me it’s to ask a question or send me something non important , i dont know what to do , i somtimes wish we were together but he doesnt tell me he wants me back , but will show signs here and there that he misses me Sometimes I feel like disappearing to give him something to miss

    #24921 Reply

    Denise

    Hi Gisselle,

    I read this and i think you also know the answer yourself. You stepped out of the relationship because he was disrespectful? That means you wanted to took a stand but you agreed with less then when you were in a relationship, nou you two still have a relationship without the committment, im sorry to say that and i know it’s hard. He doesnt text you first so you are the one who initiates most of the time? That means you are chasing him, and thats the masculine role. When he text your first he asks a question or he sends memories. That shows he not really putting in the effort and stringing you along. And also you had sex and are still talking as friends on daily base. Means he didnt lost you at all, he now has all the girlfriend benifits without committment. He maybe doesnt want to lose you but also doesnt feel the loss so why should he fight for you when you are giving it to him. My advice is watching “how to step in your feminine” videos and understand that man are wired to chase 80%, so you give him no thrill no reason to miss, fight, putting in effort when you are still there still disrespecting yourself. Love yourself girl! My advice is step back, dont initiate att all and when he does sending memories dont respond, only respond when it comes to questions about your child and keep the text message short, find something else to do with your time, hang out with friends, have a great life and if he sees that you are fine without him and you stand behind you dont tollerate disrespect then he can feel the loss then he can think hey she doesnt want me anymore and then maybe the question will gets inside his mind thinking maybe this is a great woman maybe i didnt treat her right and then he will treat you like a queen and thats what you deserve! At this moment you show him that he can treat you like a doormat. So stop having sex, no initiating att all, only really important things about your child (don’t use this as a reason to contact) if he puts in the effort and wants to do something together thats the way, but no sex after that untill he fights for you and you will know when he does you will feel good long term and not a moment. And if he sends memories just be friendly if it was really a nice moment, but dont buy into playing with your emotions when he does that, i mean yes it was a nice memory but it isnt everything. Step away completely and you will get your answers, and IF he wants to fight that’s not going to be soon. You showed him for months he can have you as a sidechick, so it will take time, months probaly a year or maybemore for him to really believe you are a different person. You have to reset his clock in how he thinks of you. You can do this!!

    #24922 Reply

    Denise

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