Confused, hot and cold?

[Adela]

Hi, I’m really confused about a guy We have known each other for about 4-5 years, on and off contact. When we find back to each other it’s always the same between us like nothings happened. We have broken our contact 2 times before and this is the 3 one, but this time it’s different. We have always been friends with sexual contact, we hang out, talk every day and so on, we could be apart but we didn’t see someone else. But now I’m really confused.. It all started to happened when I one day told him ” why can’t you just treat me like one of your male friend” I told him that because I started to think that it was just sex he wanted and that he didn’t care more. He became very upset that I said that and we started argue, he said ok, I’m not gonna touch you anymore and told me to sit on the sofa instead. He still did reach out to me everyday after that but started to back off a little bit and become mean. I got upset one day, when he asked me why I called him so early and that he just suddenly wanted only to have contact with me after midnight. So I decided that I needed space from him so I took 4 days of with no contact just to cool off, and when I came back he asked me why and said ”did you think that I would be running after you” and I told him no, that I did that because I needed time away. And here it turns, he started to ignore me instead, and I didn’t want to loose him completely so I run after him, told him I’m really sorry ect. He answered that he’s not mad or that nothing had happen between us and that he needed space now. I told him fine we don’t haft to have contact now. But every time I told him that he always answered no, we are friend we can hang out, next time it was no, I have never told you that we going to cut off our contact, we can say hello when we see each other. Next time it was no, I don’t want to loose contact we can hang out but I only gonna make time when I want to have time for you and so on. And yes I started backing off but it was him calling och texting me? So one day I told him that it not ok that he’s treating me like this and that I have apologias 100 times and that I’m done now. He called me when he saw it and said ok, we can become like we were before. I asked him why he did doo that he said ” Remember a year ago when you talked to that boy, you said that you liked him more when he was acting cold.” And we meet up but it wasn’t the same between us, he still was very disrespect full to me, he could say come and when I got there he would turn all the light of and said that he was tired and acted like he fell asleep. He started to talk about girls and seeing girls and letting me know this, he started to play with his phone instead to talk to me. All I did was acting like I didn’t care, because I didn’t want to fight again. And now he still calls and text but it less and he’s to ”busy” to answer me when I call or text. He has became more and more busy that he doesn’t even have time to hang out with me. We planed that we where going to meet up yesterday but I was going to started work early in the morning next day, so I called him to let him know, and he called back 2 hours later and I told him that I was sleeping, The next day he called me after work to check up on me and talked like we just to do. I don’t get why he’s so hot than cold. Im so confused why dos he still want to have me in his life but not want to see me or get close to me? Can you explain his behavior. I don’t want to loose him and yes I have really started to like him more.I tired to not contact him but when i don’t do that he do’s. I’m always kind when he talks to me and act like everything is normal even if I really feel that he doesn’t wanna have me in his life anymore based on his actions. Can I turn this around?

[Karina Cisneros]

Hey, i have a similar case. But the thing is that this guy is doing this so he won’t loose your attention. He likes when you beg,call him and look for him, he knows he has your attention so if he stops calling you and looking for you he’s just doing it to keep you hooked. If you have feelings for him you should talk this out with him and be honest, tell him how you feel and ask him if he feels the same way. If he keeps denying what he feels, you know it’s up to him, not you. It’s becoming something toxic, it’s confusing you, so even though it hurts you might just start keeping away and im pretty sure if he’s hiding his feelings and sees that you’re no longer in the palm of his hand he’ll go looking for you, and if he doesn’t, why would you want a person in your life that doesn’t want you in theirs.

Just a humble opinion.

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