Does he like me or am I being used ?

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  J Dee 3 years, 1 month ago.

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    Olivia Rochester

    Hi dating logic

    Back in 2018 I met this guy on holiday I was approached by him and we had a somewhat holiday romance only a few days as I was only a weekend holiday. We hooked up whilst away and I never expected anything to come from it as it was a holiday.

    When we returned home the fling continued we were seeing Escher regular sometimes hooking up but some time’s just enjoying each other’s company I was always very busy with studying and work and I have a child so I never really had time to go out on dates or anything.

    He was always a jealous type and didn’t like the idea of me talking to anyone else I went on holiday with some friends a few months into us Casually dating and he was very jealous the entire trip even though he never said it I could tell.
    When I came home his first question to me was if I had slept with anyone ?

    My birthday was not long after this and I had some friends round and he came as well and spent the night with me.

    He then went on a holiday and I was then very jealous as it was a party holiday and that’s how we had met. The arguments started and his attitude changed he was very dismissive and became very rude towards me. I used to ask a lot before this if I was wasting my time with him and he would say no but this time when I asked he said I was. I would ask because I can see now I was very insecure and probably very overbearing.

    We stopped talking for a few months and ended up seeing each other on the same party holiday we met on about 4 months later he approached me and him was attempting to come back to my holiday on 2 of the nights but I never let it happen. We came home and the fling started again.

    But this time I had heard that he had a girlfriend. When I asked him about it At first he was very dismissive and said does it matter. We later had a conversation and he said no and the person I was talking about couldn’t be his girlfriend. Of course I believed. But this time round the fling felt very one sided and was always me making efforts to see him.

    I ended it with him and he said we always do this and I said no this time I’m done and I meant it. He did call me a few months after but I was around and I didn’t hear from him again.

    My birthday came round again and this time I was going on a party weekend with my friends and he was there ! We didn’t speak the entire time but he stared at me the entire time at times it even had left me feeling very uncomfortable even my friends would comment on him staring at me. On the last night of the holiday he stood behind me and I turned around and said hello a girl walked over and said who’s this your friend and he said yes he then shouted at me to f’kin move. I was completely shocked I walked off and started crying. Turns out not only was that his girlfriend but they had a baby that was not even 1!!

    I vowed to never speak to him again I would bump into him sometimes on nights out but I wouldn’t say anything.

    Low and behold this year I went on a party weekend the same on I had be on for the last few years as it was run by my friends and yes he was there but I vowed to enjoy myself and ignore but the staring was back but I ignored he would even make a point of standing behind me just to get my attention he even came and sat on my arm at one point! Still I never acknowledged.

    We came back and I sent him a message saying he should just say hello next time there was no need to sit on my arm. He said he didn’t recognise me. He later then said that he could tell I wanted to say hi to him but I was being stubborn.

    I said to him it doesn’t always have to be this bad energy and tension when we see each other he said sorry. He made a comment about a picture I had posted I said yes I have one in red just for you as a joke but just to change the awkward tension and because he has this really odd habit of acting as if he hates me.

    A week after this conversation he came round. He asked me if I had missed him I honestly answered no he said you miss the sex I said yes. I said had you missed me he said he had I said you still tell lies and he said he had missed me I said when mine said when he doesn’t see me. We ended up hooking up and he said I need to make the effort with you. He said it’s been 2 years no one I just keep going back to.
    He said when he sees me he just wants me and if I want him I should just say. He asked me a question about missing him again I didn’t answer and he got annoyed and said it doesn’t even matter.

    He ended up spending the night and said we are starting all over again at the time I didn’t really think about what he had said until he had left. When he left the next morning he said it was really nice coming over and I should tell him when I want him to come back.

    This was late Friday night and he left Saturday morning. Today is Monday we haven’t spoken since. I commented on a post he had done and he responded but there wasn’t any conversation.

    As I write this out it is obvious to me I have been used. My question is why say all the stuff about 2 years and missing me ?

    Dating logic I know I’m in love with him and this is 2 years now will I ever get over this.


    Olivia Rochester

    As I read my question back I don’t believe I have explained properly. Obviously I can’t be in a situation for 2 years by myself. However I’m just trying to make sense of how is is towards me.

    My head guy and heart are all telling me different things. We had not hooked up for 11 months and here I am again and I really tried in those months to move on am I playing myself


    J Dee

    In my humble opinion, there is obviously physical attraction between you. However, maybe he was getting from you what he desired. The ‘relationship’ didn’t progress and you went along with it. It sounds he knew you wanted more, but he didn’t/or couldn’t give more. Moving on can be difficult, but you have to focus on yourself, your needs and self worth. What do you really want from life or a partner? Become the best version of you. If he doesn’t value you – someone else.
    Best wishes


    J Dee

    *someone else will

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