Friend told me to leave her alone.

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  • #20904 Reply

    Jorge Vera

    I had a friend that I had known for over 19 years but we lost touch for about 5 years. We had begun talking again in late July and was my date for our 15 year high school reunion. At the reunion, I had over drank on alcohol and don’t recall much of what happened or what I said but looking at the text messages, I saw that I told her I don’t ever wanna talk to her again and I don’t care about her (which is the complete opposite). The next day, I sobered up and realized what happened and tried to call her to apologize and ask what had happened the previous night but she wouldn’t answer. I went to her apartment and left her a note with some flowers because she wouldn’t answer the door. I finally called her one last time and left a voicemail to which she texted back that she didn’t want to talk to me again and to please leave her alone and she wouldn’t read the letter I had left her. That was about a month ago. Is my friendship really over? Is there anything I could do to make things right?

    #20905 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Jorge,

    Your friend told you that she didn’t want to talk to you again and to leave her alone because she was hurt by the messages that she received from you when you were drunk.

    That notwithstanding, your friendship with her is not necessarily over.

    However, even though it has been a month since she told you to leave her alone, you should still keep your distance.

    She may still be really upset over what happened.

    You should stop thinking about trying to make things right.

    Just let her continue having her space.

    Focus more so on making sure that you are a positive influence around mutual friends or acquaintances that the both of you may know.

    Be extra helpful to them.

    This way, they may continuously report back to her about how much of a good guy you are and this alone may eventually make her feel as though she should give you a second chance.

    #20909 Reply

    Jorge Vera

    Thank you for your response. I just wish I knew for certainty that this would blow over but considering we don’t have mutal friends, I’m afraid I already know the answer.

    #20910 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Jorge,

    If you don’t have mutual friends, you may still have a chance at this friendship not being over.

    19 years of friendship is a long time.

    Women often value relationships.

    She may still come around to wanting to reconnect with you.

    Something that you can try is to start being more social in your town.

    Go out more often to some of the local hot spots for singles.

    Being that you are both single, you may bump into her at some point.

    If this happens, it is best to avoid initiating conversation.

    Instead, let her be the one to do so if she so chooses.

    Being that it has been a month since you last interacted with her, her emotions may have settled.

    Hence, there is a chance that she would be more willing to talk to you at the venue or reach out to you at a later date via text.

    #20912 Reply

    Jorge Vera

    Thank you again for your advice. I really appreciate it. I’m gonna try and follow your advice.

    #20917 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    You are welcome Jorge.

    All the best.

    #20975 Reply

    Jorge Vera

    Just wanted thanks but I have concluded my friendship with her is over.

    #20976 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Jorge,

    You are welcome.

    Your conclusion is understandable.

    Perhaps you can take a lesson from this experience and move forward in a positive way.

    All the best.

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