He Rejected Me, But He Matched Me on Tinder

[Alexia Vega]

Last year, I reconnected with someone I knew back in high school. We were never close nor enemies, but we knew each other because we had a few classes together. We got together to hang out for the first time and it went really well. We hung out again and I started to develop some feelings for him and asked him out. He didn’t say no, but told me he was focusing on work and getting back on his feet (so no date). A couple weeks went by and we slept together (he asked me first) and I told him before we slept together that I was developing feelings for him and asked if he did too. He said he did liked me and we had sex. However, he told me a week after that night, that he couldn’t be in a relationship because he was “fucked up” and was taking anti-depressants and was emotionally unavailable. I agreed to be just his friend because I thought he was a great guy and I kinda did hope of that “one day” we’ll get together. However, during our friendship he started to open up to me about himself, his past, and his demons; something that made me relate to him so much and it made feel like maybe he’s starting to like me more because of that. He also said things to me like “I didn’t want to disappoint you…damn did i just told you that?” I opened up to him more about myself and he was actually the first guy I was ever vulnerable to and he acted the same way. I started to fall for him and I told that I was in love with him, not to trap him, but to finally being honest on how I was feeling about him. His reaction wasn’t what I expected, he said, “Oh God no, you did not just say that” He asked for space and I respected his wishes. However, a month later, he posted something concerning (he felt he doesnt belong on this planet because of the lack of friends) and I checked up on him and he said not to worry about and that he wasn’t looking for attention…yea okay. He still liked my posts even after pushing me away from and he ignores me at school. I decided to unfollow him on all social media because I couldn’t take it anymore of his bs posts that I knew weren’t true about himself. This all happened towards the end of October and I decided to create a Tinder account in the beginnning of December to keep my mind off him. I logged out of the app for a little over a month and came across his profile…out of morbid curiosity, I was curious if he swiped right or left on me….as soon as I swiped right, it said “It’s a Match” meaning he swiped on me first. It’s been almost four weeks now and he nor I haven’t said anything to each other. I’ve seen at the library at school but we didn’t say anything to each other. I apologize for this really loooong message. I wanted you to know the full story and maybe know what kind of guy he is. I don’t know what it means when he swiped right on me even after what happened between us and that it may not mean anything? Thank you.

[LukeKeymaster]

Hi Alexia,

He may have swiped right to make you a match on Tinder because he was seeking attention from you.

This is a guy that has already shown a lot of emotional instability and has even admitted to you in the past that he is on anti-depressants.

This emotional instability is often what tends to make him desire attention.

Seeking out attention may be his entire reason for being on Tinder in the first place.

After all, he hasn’t shown the emotional capacity to do what it takes to build and maintain a relationship.

You have already experienced his desire for attention in the past when he wrote on social media about feeling as though he didn’t belong on the planet because of his lack of friends.

He was hoping for sympathy and attention.

You provided it to him when you checked up on him and he consequently told you not to worry and that he wasn’t looking for attention.

He actually was.

He yearns for attention.

However, he isn’t willing to take any action to develop a relationship.

This is why he rejected you in the past and continues to ignore you at school.

Building and maintaining a relationship would be too much of an investment in time and emotion and he simply doesn’t want to put himself in that position.

[Author]

Posts