This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by 
Luke 3 years, 5 months ago.
-
Posts
-
JI met this girl from the United Kingdom 9 months ago online. We fell in love, and everything was going good. She deals with mental health issues, but that didn’t change how I felt about her. She told her parents about our long distance relationship in the beginning and they were fine with it. But about 2 weeks ago, she told me how sometimes she just wants some space because of her depression. So I gave her some space and just texted her a couple of times to check in. She would reply about how amazing i am and how much she loves me. But last saturday, out of nowhere she texts me that she has been trying to hid the fact that her parents want us to break up. That her parents are threating to kick her out of the house. She said this relationship could “ruin my life”.
And then she says how she’s crying so much and she’s so sorry about everything. And then she tells me she lied about something big…her age. She said she was 19, but she’s 16. In the UK 16 is legal and she has friends who are 16 who date 23 yr olds and I’m 21. So we have a 5 yr age gap. When I asked her why she is giving up so easily she said “I was lonely and needed someone to talk to”. She said she would keep me on whatsapp. We texted a little earlier yesterday, and we were trying to call to talk about the situation but she never responded. She said her parents took her phonr away for the day right after she blocked me but then she got it back, but now I’m scared they took it again. I even write messages to her parents when I text her incase they did take her phone and I try to be as honest and mature as i can. Idk how to feel. She lied to me about her age since day 1 and I hate lies.
Before she blocked me on snapchat I asked her what if we just talk like friends for the next 5 months to 1.5 years until she turns 17-18, which is legal in NYS, where I live. And she said “I don’t want to waste your time, what if you find someone. What if I find someone?”
This girl promised me marriage and a whole life together and now out of nowhere she sounds like she wants to leave me because I was just “someone to talk to”. Idk what to do or how to feel. I love her, but I’m so mad about the lying. Maybe her parents are just scaring her? And she’s panicking not to get yelled at or kicked out of the house? So she did as they said not to get in more trouble?
Someone help please
Hi J,
She was lonely and for a period of time, you fulfilled her need for attention.
However, she doesn’t need you as much as she used to.
Her parents have also started applying pressure on the long distance relationship with threats about kicking her out of the house.
Though it may feel as though she blocked you because of them, she may have also done it because she wanted to.
She has never been trustworthy in what she tells you.
For one, she lied to you about her age.
If she was able to do this, she was also very capable of lying to you about marriage and a whole life together.
Unfortunately, your long distance relationship with her was most likely based on convenience and now that the pressure is on from her parents and she no longer needs your attention as much as she used to, she is more than willing to let the long distance relationship go.
Indeed, her parents may truly be scaring her with threats.
However, she isn’t putting any real effort to try to save her long distance relationship with you either.
Again, this may be an indication that she also wants this long distance relationship to end.
After all, you tried to give her a solution in asking her if the both of you could talk as friends for the next 5 months to 1.5 years until she turns of legal age in NYS and she turned you down.
She mentioned that the both of you could have found someone else by that time.
Again, this doesn’t sound like a person who truly wants to make any attempts to save a relationship.
This is further indication that she has probably never felt as deeply for you as you have for her throughout your long distance relationship with her.
As painful as this may be, it would be to your benefit to let this relationship go.
The problem is not just her parents.
She may be using them as a scapegoat.
Although she may be panicked about being yelled at or kicked out of the house by them, she may also personally want this breakup because she just no longer needs your attention.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.