Help with my situation, girl troubles

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 3 years, 8 months ago.

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    Connor Mcorrie

    Hi, I just needed someone else opinion on this situation

    im in year 11 and me and this girl have always gotten along, probably since year 9 when we first sort of started talking to each other.

    and over this period of time, I found myself liking her and always enjoying her company etc and was really wondering if she liked me back etc

    at parties, (specifically this year) (like last 6 months) we had gone down to an oval and spent like 2 hours down there just by ourselves just talking, she’d snuggled next to me, sitting down on a couch, held my hand a few times

    and so earlier this year I had started to really just say to myself if you dont ask you never know etc… and after all this stuff happened I said to myself you REALLY need to find out if she likes you back

    but before I got the opportunity, she told me about this bloke that kept asking if she wanted to date him etc.

    long story short they started dating and I was crushed and so one night when we were talking she was saying that she wanted to know if I was ignoring her bc she started dating this guy, (didn’t like him he was a douche) and she was saying stuff like if he made me stop talking to you I would break up with him

    and thats when she said that I was one of her best friends and yeah so basically in my head im going “great, thats fantastic”

    anyway, after she said that I said finally, “do you ever think we could be more than friends?”

    and she wasn’t repulsed or anything, she was just a little surprised and was asking about how long etc

    and about a month and a half went by and after briefly going over it a few times with her, she didn’t even mind, she would still talk to me the way she did before I said anything, she would still be physical with me, touching my arm, touching my butt

    but I was going on this trip with the school in a few days for 2 weeks and she wasn’t going, so I ended up asking her to break up with her boyfriend and then said we could go out to dinner or a movie and she didn’t say no on the spot but after a bit of silence I asked her if she could think about it while I was gone

    anyway got back from the trip and a couple of days after I was on a call with her, SHE brought up that she had broken up with him and so me, with hopes high now asking if it was a yes to the movies or whatever.

    but she said no, and was apologetic etc.

    now theres lots of things that have made me question why she said no

    but like a little bit ago we were talking and I said somethings referring back to me liking her and she literally said she wasn’t mad but it got a bit awkward and I ended up not talking to her
    and ive talked to my mate about it and he said i should just keep my distance bc if she does care she’ll be the one to try to talk to me

    and so after about a week of not talking, she comes up to me and says we need to talk

    and so then she’s asking me if “we’re good” and she felt like I was ignoring her after which I explained that I felt like it was just awkward and was just kept asking if we were ok, to which I replied something along the lines of yeah, I guess so etc.

    a few days passed where she didn’t come to school and we hadn’t talked and out of the blue she asked if I liked what she’d done to her hair (she dyed it)
    idk it seemed weird and I was like “why would she be asking me this”

    anyway I know there a lot to read sorry but I had to include as much detail as possible bc there are little things that make me confused about why she ended up saying no and so I am writing this just to ask your guy’s opinions on the situation

    should I be keeping my distance and let her talk to me?
    should I be just talking to her like nothing ever happened, before I said anything about my feelings?

    Thank you so much
    Cheers Connor



    Hi Connor,

    You should figure out whether you can handle just being her friend and nothing more.

    She doesn’t like you romantically.

    She had an opportunity to go out to dinner or the movies with you and she said no.

    This was also after she had already broken up with her boyfriend.

    She knows that you like her romantically but she has shown no signs of feeling the same way about you.

    Even though she has snuggled up to you in the past and touched your arm and butt, this doesn’t indicate that she likes you romantically.

    She has called you one of her best friends.

    Girls will often get physically close to their best friends and even snuggle up to them because they feel safe and comfortable around them.

    It doesn’t mean that they like you romantically.

    There isn’t a chance for romance with this girl.

    If you feel that you can have a platonic friendship with her, which is all that she wants from you, you can just keep talking to her as though you never said anything to her about your feelings.

    However, if you feel that you will be unable to maintain a relationship with her that is strictly platonic, it may be best to keep your distance for a while, at least until you have moved on from your romantic feelings for her.

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