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Luke 3 years, 8 months ago.
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BoodHi, me and my ex have a big problem with each other. Basically me and ex were in a long distance relationship for a month. Later on, we both agreed to break up because the distance was the main problem for us and we stayed as friends. Now fast forward to currently. Its really hard for me and her to be friends. Even though we are friends, we both express our feelings and talk in a certain way sometimes as if we are both dating. It’s like I can’t control myself around her and she can’t either. I think it’s more harder cause we were both each other first real love. We both want to go back together but we can’t because we both need physical affection. I want to go back being just be friends with her but I just don’t know how, especially we used to express each other alot when we’re dating. What should I do? What are ways me and my ex can try to be friends? Thank you.
Hi Bood,
The first step in trying to make your ex a friend is to stop talking about feelings.
The next step is to avoid talking to each other in the same way that a couple who are dating would.
A way that you can go about achieving these steps is to be fully aware of when your conversation has veered into the sentimental.
Make sure that you stop each other at that moment and veer your conversation back to a platonic subject.
You have to both pay very close attention to your conversations and make it a point to correct course whenever one or both of you starts becoming sentimental.
The more proactive that you both are in doing this, the easier it will get.
Something else that you can both do is start making an effort to talk to and possibly go out on dates with other people.
The sooner you start allowing new potential romantic prospects into your lives, the easier it will be for the both of you to develop boundaries.
You would both feel awkward with talking about feelings when there are other people that you are going out on dates with and sharing intimate conversations with.
If you both start going out with new romantic prospects, you will just have a natural inclination to want to be more private with certain aspects of your life.
This will often keep the both of you from talking about feelings or talking to each other in the same way that a couple who are dating would.
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