Home › Forums › Online Dating › I'm confused about what he wants?
This topic contains 0 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Mariah 4 years, 3 months ago.
March 7, 2019 at 4:49 pm #19259
So my manager and I had been flirting with each other for a while. I had a crush on him but my feelings were mostly based in physical/sexual attraction. One night after a few drinks I got direct with him and asked if he wanted to sleep with me. He said “No, I’m flattered but I don’t want to put my job at risk. Don’t worry, I won’t be awkward about it though.” My frame of mind was not to sweat it, create some distance between us and keep it professional. I figured he would be on the same page and back off.
Immediately after our conversation he started liking a few of my selfies over social media. At trainings he would go out of his way to pay little compliments to my shoes or hair. I didn’t think much of it, I thought maybe he was trying to play mind games and that I should ignore it. Then he started contacting me more frequently than other employees. Others would complain that he was difficult to get in touch with, but I was not having the same problem. Our conversations weren’t flirtatious or sexual in nature and were centered on small work updates but I found the attentiveness and frequency odd in comparison to what my co-workers were experiencing. I brushed it off, but his texts and phone calls became more personal. He sent me a text wishing me a happy birthday and would offer to help me with personal favors, sometimes insisting after I refused. I let him help me with one or two things occasionally; I had locked my keys in my car during a snow storm, he drove to me and helped me get them out.
He would get somewhat aggressive with me if he perceived that I was ignoring him; sometimes raising his voice at me or knocking on my desk to grab my attention. Some of the things he said struck me as odd, he asked If he was making me uncomfortable and stated that he “doesn’t want to draw too much attention to us”. We’re just doing our jobs, I didn’t quite understand what there was to draw attention to? I got the impression that he might’ve assumed there was more to our relationship. He started liking more of my photos on social media, and would like 1 or 2 “sexy” pictures. At this point I’m annoyed, a little frightened and confused with his behavior.
Things finally came to a head when I decided to ignore a text from him one night. He asked me how I was doing and if I had a minute to speak on the phone with him. I was drunk and hanging out with my friends so responding to him didn’t seem smart or ideal. The next day, before a meeting he confronted me about it. He asked “did you get my text last night?” I told him that I had. He responded with “oh so you just weren’t feeling it?” I just stood there, quiet for a while because I was confused and perplexed. He gets pissed off, goes “I was out of town for a week!” And storms off.
I decided to confront him about his behavior, telling him it was frightening me and to give me some space. He got super defensive with me, stating that he’s “just doing his job”. I see him staring quite frequently. His words say one thing but his actions are telling a completely different story. I’m honestly confused about his intentions and I can’t tell if he’s just desperate to have sex with me or wants something more and has feelings for me now.
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