I'm in love with my current boyfriend and my ex.

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #24746 Reply

    Hope

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    I don’t know what to do, I love my boyfriend I have now and I’ve been with him for seven months and yet I still find myself to love my ex. I can’t understand why I love my ex he had stopped giving me what I wanted and eventually he left for reasons I don’t know and I found someone new who constantly gives me what I want (and when I talk about what I want I’m talking about conversation, attention, caring).
    My ex was great but he stopped showing me he loved me and even to this day he tells me he loves me and our mutual friends tell me he loves me and asks about me, but he never texts me to say anything. I understand he has a hard time expressing himself through the way I want, but its something I need. My boyfriend now doesn’t love me but I found myself falling in love with him, but we don’t talk about having a long term relationship, now I can see myself with him long term, it’s more on his side. I feel guilty for loving both of them and I know my current boyfriend is what I want in a relationship. Do you have any advice for what I can do to sort and understand my feelings?

    #24749 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Hope,

    You may need to get proper closure with your ex boyfriend.

    The lack of that has kept your emotions in a state of confusion, thereby keeping you from being fully emotionally available.

    It may be best for you to arrange a meeting with your ex and have a proper conversation about what happened and where his emotions were during the course of that relationship.

    A proper understanding of what went wrong for him may give you a clearer perspective on that past relationship.

    This would allow you to accept what happened and consequently release you from your emotional attachment to that past relationship.

    #24787 Reply

    Hope

    We did end up see each other at a mutual friends event and talked after, when I asked him I only got vague answers. He says he always loved me and still does. Any time I see my friends they tell me he asks about me, so I could believe he’s serious when he says that. He’s very stubborn and isn’t very good at expressing himself and his so he’ll cut himself off. I told him I wanted to talk to him again face to face he’s agreed but is again being distant. That was the only problem in our relationship we couldn’t seem to communicate on the same level. Thank you for the advice.

    #24791 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    You are welcome.

    If he has always loved you and still does, he has to then explain why he broke up with you.

    The sooner you can have this face to face meeting with him, the better.

    It may help to give you the closure you need so that you can get out of this emotional quagmire.

    All the best.

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