My Ex

[Mia]

My Ex boyfriend dumped ME, and now he’s talking bad about me. We haven’t talked since the breakup, or had any contact. Why does he hate me when he was the one to end it with me? I loved him so much, but he ended it, why?

[LukeKeymaster]

Hi Mia,

Your ex boyfriend most likely doesn’t hate you.

He is talking bad about you because this is how he is processing and dealing with the breakup.

He may be trying to reassure himself that he made the right decision in breaking up with you.

By talking bad about you and receiving validation in the responses of other people, he may be hoping to experience justification for the breakup and consequently make himself feel better about it.

He has to have someone to blame so as not to have to bear any responsibility for what may have gone wrong in your relationship with him.

The person that he is putting the blame on is you.

Unfortunately, this is how some people deal with a breakup.

He may have ended his relationship with you because he just got bored with it.

The relationship may have been too predictable and he wanted to experience something new and exciting.

That’s one possibility.

Another could be that loving him as much as you did may have given him a sense of inadequacy.

Perhaps he felt that he didn’t deserve that much love, being that he has never experienced it from anyone else that he has dated in the past.

In fact, he may actually be used to being in relationships that aren’t very loving at all.

Perhaps these previous relationships were often punctuated with bitter arguments.

That may be what he is used to and what he wants to go back to.

There are certain people who love the chaos, even when it is detrimental to the health and long-term prospects of a relationship.

He may have ended his relationship with you because you were giving him the kind of love that he wasn’t used to and he wanted to return to the kind of chaos that has poisoned his relationships in the past.

[Author]

Posts