Questioning my relationship

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 2 weeks ago.

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  • #21140 Reply

    Allison Terrey

    Hello,
    I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months, talking for about 8 months. We are both 21, and this is my first relationship. I love him and he treats me well, but I am feeling conflicted because I have never been in a relationship before, and I have nothing to compare this one to. Being in a relationship isn’t what I always thought it would be, and I don’t know if that is normal, or if my relationship isn’t right. Things are getting more serious, and the thought of committing to spending the rest of my life with him is intimidating because I’m worried that I could be missing out on how a relationship is supposed to feel. I just don’t know because I have no previous experience.
    Thank you for your help, I would appreciate any advice you have

    #21141 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Allison,

    You may be questioning your relationship because you had a lot of preconceived notions about what a relationship would be like.

    Now that you have been dating your current boyfriend for 5 months, not everything has turned out the way you had imagined.

    It is often very hard for life to imitate fantasy.

    Hence why it is important to never allow your imagination to get the best of you when it comes to relationships.

    If things are getting more serious with him and you are intimidated about the prospect of committing the rest of your life with him, you should just slow things down.

    You have only been in an exclusive relationship with him for 5 months and talking for 8 months.

    That is all very early.

    Too early to be thinking about spending the rest of your life with him.

    Instead of setting expectations as to where this relationship is leading, just keep getting to know one another and have fun.

    Make it a habit to engage in as many new activities together as possible.

    This is often how you will be able to determine whether you are truly with the right person for you.

    Try not to play it safe by doing the same activities over and over again.

    As long as you engage in new activities as often as possible, you will have a much better understanding on whether you are missing out on how a relationship is supposed to feel.

    In essence, you will eventually come to an understanding about the kind of long-term chemistry that you both share.

    This is when you would be in a much better position to determine whether you should stay on in the relationship or whether you should leave.

    Even though this is your first relationship and thereby, you don’t have a previous relationship to compare it to, this doesn’t necessary equate to missing out.

    If you jump ship too prematurely with this current relationship and get into a new one with someone else soon after, you may come to regret it.

    It comes back to the old adage about the grass being greener on the other side.

    The truth is, there have been many occasions for many people where the grass simply wasn’t.

    For now, have fun.

    It is too soon to get so serious.

    Have many many adventures together.

    Then and only then will you know.

    #21144 Reply

    Allison Terrey

    Thank you Luke, I really appreciate the advice, this has been very helpful for me

    #21145 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    You are welcome Allison.



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