Reaching out after a breakup, but it’s been 2 years..

[James]

Here’s the scenario: About almost 2 years ago, I got into a 3-4 month relationship with someone I had only talked to consistently within that time period. It ended because, well, I cheated, and it was my first time cheating. I felt so guilty about it, so I told my partner moments after it happened. When I confronted them with what happened, they had me wait a couple days for them to think about what was going to happen next. And then, obviously, we ended up splitting. They said we could remain friends, but knowing them I already knew “being friends” after that scenario would likely mean the end of any and every interaction. I did not handle it well for I did not prepare for the breakup itself and truly thought we could make things work. I made the mistake of reaching out just a week later after we split, attempting to fix thing, but that just made it worse. I would then continue to reach out a month later, then a couple months later to ask them if we were on bad terms. They said ‘no,’ but I still wasn’t satisfied by the fact we weren’t interacting like when we were together. Following after that, I realized I was still a mess whenever I’d see his posts, so I removed him from all social media. For a while, then, I was able to go without thinking of what happened and I was doing a great job of finding myself in life. As a matter of fact, I was able to get into another relationship for the time being. But, as soon as quarantine started actually, I had come home from college, only to see the many reminders that made me think of my ex partner, and everything that could’ve been but never was: mutual friends began mentioning their name in conversations; certain spots made me think about them; etc… So I’m here now, typing up this long story to explain my situation over something that happened nearly 2 years ago, hoping to get the answer to my question: Should I reach out, or have I done enough?

[Gracie]

You have done enough. Leave it alone and move on.

[Author]

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