Regarding Missing crush

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 3 years, 5 months ago.

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    Hi, i saw that girl 1.5 years ago and finds her very beautiful and i was only looking at her but i wasn’t interested in her cause she belonged to different community and race. I m bit of modern and traditional mix kind of guy. she likes me because always try to get my attention. She was chasing my gym timing but I always ignored her but one day she came front of me and stares at me very angrily I don’t understood what was going on but ignored her again and never saw her again on same day or time again. After that point of time we saw each other about after 4 months with her eager looking but she was pretended to ignore me and looks upset. I moved to another city now but it drives myself crazy I always thinking about her especially during job. Sometimes i think her alot and sometimes not much but still thinking. I been there to same place month ago but couldn’t find her. Somebody’s says it’s love or i m attracted to her. I never had any long term relationship before cause i m bit career oriented guy. If you know the situation please tell me why i am thinking i also trying to look another girls why i am not missing them instead of this girl.



    Hi Kair,

    You probably keep thinking about her because you found her to be very beautiful from the first time that you saw her.

    However, you placed boundaries on yourself based on the fact that she belonged to a different community and race.

    You may have placed this boundary based on what is expected of you within your own community.

    However, this may not actually be a boundary that you entirely agree with. There was a part of you that was still attracted to this girl regardless of the differences.

    When she kept on trying to get your attention and you kept ignoring her, this made you become that much more intrigued by her, even though you were trying to make yourself believe that you weren’t.

    When you moved to another city, this caused a separation between the both of you which has now given you time to reflect.

    You miss the attention that she used to give you.

    Even though you are trying to look at other girls, you will keep thinking about this one girl because she is the one that you have shared some history with and you are also the most attracted to.



    So what’s the solution of this because i want to get rid of this situation cause i can’t move on as i used to be. Thanks



    Hi Kair,

    The solution is to accept the fact that you will never see her again.

    The reason why you can’t move on is because you keep holding on to the possibility of being in a relationship with her.

    That opportunity is gone forever.

    Once you accept this bitter, yet freeing fact, it will be a lot easier to get her out of your mind.



    Thx Luke, i much appreciate for your advice..



    Sorry luke, disturb you again but one thing i want to know after this incident i got same attention from another girls and still i m getting but I don’t know why only she comes into my mind because those girls does same things and I still have many girls in my hand and I know can talk with them straight way and I know most of them probably can say yes but i am only afraid from future suppose if i got married but after that same problem happen again such as she comes into my mind then i will be in trouble. I had interaction with many beautiful girls during this period but why only she comes during my job?? Thanks



    Hi Kair,

    Even though you have since interacted with many beautiful girls who act in the same way as the girl that you like, she still comes to mind because you haven’t allowed yourself to get over her.

    You are still thinking about what could have been.

    There may even still be a part of you that is hoping that you will see her again one day.

    As long as you are still emotionally attached to these desires, it will be difficult for you to give any other girl a chance.

    This emotional attachment is also why you keep thinking about her during the day at your job.

    Remember that you spent a year and a half looking at this girl, thinking that she was very beautiful.

    That amount of time may have caused you to become more and more emotionally attached to her, even if you didn’t believe that you were interested in her at the time.

    You haven’t had this kind of experience with any of the beautiful girls who are currently giving you attention.



    Hi Luke,

    Just general question if i m missing her so does it mean she missing me too cause i can feel whenever she comes pop up into my mind my eyes twitching. I found a beautiful girl now and attracted to her but still again instead of this girl she comes into my mind alot more.. i don’t want to put this question again but it seems like she missing me same as i am. To be honest i had breakup with 3 girl before but never missed those girls like that even i had a relationship with them but this girl I ignored and never had a relationship. Why??



    Hi Kair,

    The twitching of your eyes whenever she pops up in your mind is in no way an indication that she misses you.

    So far, she has done nothing that you know of to show that she is missing you in the same way as you are missing her.

    You were so enamored by this girl’s beauty that you most likely created a story in your head about what this girl is like. Your mind created the best possible stories and you fell in love with who you think this girl to be.

    This is why despite the fact that you have been able to forget other girls that you have dated in the past quite easily, you can’t forget this girl.

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