Relationship confusion

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 2 months, 1 week ago.

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    R

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    I just got out of a 3month relationship on the basis that he was feeling confused and unsure about what he really wants. We did enter the relationship thing quickly after speaking for a month but we spoke and still speak everyday. He had previously spoken of a future with me and now it’s a thing where he broke it off with me because he wants to see if I am the one however in breaking things off he has said he wants to get to know me better and isn’t really opening himself to others in that way for now

    We still talk everyday at long lengths the same way we used to and feelings are still very much there on a mutual thing, he has said I make him happy and he would feel it if he lost me and I feel the same towards him

    My question is should I wait for him by still talking to him and see what happens or should I leave and give him the time and should I stay closed off to other guys or be open minded

    #24812 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi R,

    You shouldn’t wait for him.

    He broke up with you because he thinks that he is missing out on better dating opportunities.

    Even though he told you that he isn’t really opening himself up to others in a romantic way for now, that wasn’t entirely honest.

    In breaking up with you, he is freeing himself emotionally, as well as his conscience.

    This way, if he were to meet someone else that grabbed his romantic attention, he won’t feel bad about talking to her and would also have the emotional availability to develop feelings for her.

    He told you that he would feel it if he lost you and has continued to talk to you everyday at long lengths because he is keeping you as his insurance policy.

    He hopes that you will maintain your feelings for him so that he will always have you as a last option to come back to if no one else grabs his romantic attention.

    Being that you like this guy romantically, as opposed to only liking him on a platonic level, if you were to wait for him and still keep talking to him, you will only develop deeper feelings for him, while he is free to do what he wants with his emotions and entertain talking to other girls.

    You would be operating on his clock of which there would be no guarantee that you will end up being with him as a committed couple.

    Yes, you should leave.

    No, you should not stay closed off to other guys.

    Yes, you should be open-minded.

    If you wait on him, you will miss out on other opportunities with other guys who may be a lot more clearheaded on what they want and how they feel.

    You shouldn’t be anyone’s insurance policy. If you are, that claim may never come due.

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