This topic contains 5 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by 
Luke 3 years, 5 months ago.
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MikaHi, I Have A Relationship Question. I was In. A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAUGHTERS FATHERS, IN THE REALTIONSHIP THINGS WERE REALLY TOXIC, LIKE EMOTIONAL ABUSE PHYSICALLY ABUSE MY EX WOULD BECOME VERY JEALOUS OF ME AND WHEN I WOULD BE WITH FAMILY HE WOULD GET VERY POSSESSIVE AND ANGRY. I HAVE PUT SLOT OF TIME AND PATIENCE AND EFFORT INTO THE RELATIONSHIP TRYING TO KEEP MY FAMILY TOGETHER FOR MY DAUGHTER. SHE REALLY LOVES HER DAD. I STARTED TO LOSE INTEREST WITU HIM WHILE I WAS GIVING MYSELF TO HIM PHYSICALLY CAUSE I DIDNT WANT HIM TO CHEAT, WELL HE IS NO LONGER IN OUR LIFE HE INCARCERATED AND I REALLY WILL LIKE TO KNOW HOW CAN I GET UNDERSTANDING IF HE CHEATED ON ME WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER? HE ALSO WOULD PUT HIS FAMILU IN OUR RELATIONSHIP HE NEVER REALLY TOOK ME OUT ROMANTICALLY OR SET SPEACIAL DATES FOR US. HE HAS MENTALLY MANIPULATED ME INTO BELIEVING HE LOVED ME. HE BEEN IN IN OUT OF PRISON SINCE MY DAUGHTER BEEN BORN 6 YEARS AGO. HE ALWAYS BEEN ABSENT. HE ALSO HAS NOT CONTACTED OUR DAUGHTER IN A MONTH HE HAS WENT WEEKS WITHOUT TALKING HER. I HAVE IGNORED HIS JAIL CALLS CAUSE I CANT TAKE YHR PAIN OR MANIPULATION FROM HIM I HAVE GOTTEN TO MY BREAKEN POINT TRYING TO BE THE MATURE PARENT. HE ALSO DOESN’T RESPECT MY RELIGION FOR MYSELF AND DAUGHTER. I HAVE BEEN A BIG SUPPORT FOR HIM MENTALLY,EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY IM AM DRAINED. BUT OVERALL I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM. I ALSO MOVED AND HE DOSENT KNOW WHERE I MOVED. WILL HE GET OUT TO COME AND LOOK FOR US? I HAVE BEEN BLINDED BY THIS PERSON THINKING HE WILL CHANGE FOR OUR DAUGHTER. WHAT CAN I DO TO MOVE FORWARD FROM THIS PAST EXPERIENCE AND LET GO OF MY FEELINGS FOR HIM.CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME. THANK YOU
Hi Mika,
Given how toxic the relationship has been, per your description, there would be a higher likelihood that he would have cheated on you at some point.
However, there are no guarantees that he did cheat and worrying about that would not help your situation.
He never seemed to care all that much about you or his daughter at the times when he has been out of prison in the past.
Hence, the likelihood of making a motivated effort to look for you and your daughter when he gets out is slim.
He may make a feeble attempt at finding the both of you upon initially getting out, but it is unlikely that this attempt will persist.
Given his nature, he would most likely try to find a new partner to manipulate, with you being absent.
To move forward and let go of your feelings for him, think about what is best for your mental and physical health.
Think about what is best for your daughter.
Think about the past six years and the manipulation and abuse that you have been through.
Now, ask yourself about whether you can handle another six years of that.
How about another twelve years or twenty-four years.
Ask yourself about whether it would be worth it to spend the best years of your life remaining stuck in a situation that you have been unable to change.
These kind of questions make you reflect on today and on what is to come.
They give you perspective.
If you come to understand the hopelessness of what it would mean to stay with this man for many more years, you will find it easier to move forward and allow your feelings for him to start dissipating over time.
MikaThank you Luke
You are welcome Mika.
MikaHi ,Luke I also Will like to know about my crush, When I was at my work area I Went to my crush work area and when I approached his the space I Stood in between my crush and another coworker and my crush was talking with a friend before I came To his work space but he got very quiet when I Entered into the work area can you tell my why they stopped talking when I Entered the area. Thank you
Hi Mika,
Your crush may have gotten quiet when you entered the work area because he may not have wanted you to hear what he was talking about with his friend.
It may have been something personal or even work-related. Either way, he may not have wanted you or anyone else for that matter to hear it.
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