Should I ask her out after I didn't see her for 2 weeks?

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This topic contains 14 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 6 days, 16 hours ago.

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  • #20932 Reply

    Shifty

    Hi!

    2 and a half weeks ago I met a nice girl who approuched me on school (i’m in highschool) and we talked the whole recess what was about 30 minutes. The day after that she asked me if we could ride home together, we couldn’t because we don’t live in the same direction. That whole week she approuched me and friday I approuched her while she was talking to her friends and she immediately turned my way and we started talking again. But after the weekend we were forced not to talk because she had to go away for school. In about a half week (which is monday) she’ll be back at school after those 2 weeks. But should I ask her out if she is back? Or is this really to early? And should I be afraid she maybe lost interest after those 2 weeks?

    Cheers! ,
    Shifty

    #20933 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Shifty,

    Yes, you should ask her out, even if it has been two weeks since you last saw her.

    She was the one who approached you first and then proceeded to approach you throughout that week.

    When you approached her as she was talking to her friends, she turned to you and talked to you.

    So far, she has shown strong signs of interest.

    She wouldn’t have forgotten about you in two weeks.

    If anything, she may have been thinking about you quite a bit in these two weeks, perhaps even wondering whether you are thinking about her.

    Hence, it is unlikely that she would have lost interest in you.

    It is not too early to ask her out.

    You are not asking her to be your girlfriend. You are just asking her out on a date.

    The sooner you do so, the better.

    #20938 Reply

    Shifty

    Hey Luke,

    Thank you for replying. I think I will be cursed if I don’t ask her out now XD

    So if I see her, I’ll talk to her. How’s she’s doing and stuff. And then at the end I will ask her out.

    So thank you for encouraging me!
    If you’re interested, I’ll tell you how it went.

    Buh-bye!
    Have an A1 day!
    Shifty

    #20939 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Shifty,

    Asking her out the next time you see her is the right call.

    Yes, tell me how it went.

    All the best.

    #20989 Reply

    Shifty

    Hey Luke,

    I did see her today, but I didn’t ask her out. Mostly because it was the end of the recess and I didn’t see her up until then.

    So my quostion is, can I ask her out immediately into the conversation? Or should I wait it out a bit t’ill the end of the conversation, or middle?

    #20990 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Shifty,

    You should ask her out immediately into the conversation.

    The danger of waiting it out until the middle or end of the conversation is that, you may rely on the conversation to go a certain way so that it feels more natural to ask her out by the middle or end of it.

    This could easily put you in a position where you don’t quite know when to ask her out because the conversation hasn’t reached the level where you feel the most confident in doing it.

    This could cause you to delay asking her out, only to discover that by the end of the conversation, you still don’t feel comfortable doing it.

    It is best to ask her out immediately so as not to rely on how well a conversation goes in order to do it.

    Just get it out of the way.

    Then, you can proceed to have a conversation with her.

    #20994 Reply

    Shifty

    Hey Luke,

    Thanks again for the tips, i’ll try to ask her out.
    I was feeling so confident last week, but today it was all gone. I hope it comes back wednesday (I don’t have school tommorow, so I have to wait 2 days.)

    But thank you, Luke, for the tips, like I said i’ll tell you how it went.

    Shifty

    #20995 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    You are welcome Shifty.

    It is not uncommon to lose confidence when it comes to asking a girl out.

    However, the less you think about it, the less likely you will create all kinds of negative stories in your mind about how she will react to it.

    With that in mind, try not to think too hard about it in the next 2 days before you are able to meet up with her again at school.

    Focus on other activities and thoughts.

    The less time you spend thinking about it, the less likely you will psych yourself out of asking her out.

    Looking forward to finding out how it went.

    All the best.

    #21003 Reply

    Shifty

    Yo, Luke!

    I asked her out and she said: “Yes, when?”
    And I said saturday, sadly she can’t that day. But she can in the autumn break. So that’s neat!

    I also have her number, is it best to call or text her?
    And is it okay to just ask: “On which day should we meet?”

    Or is that not confident enough?

    And thank you so much!

    #21004 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Shifty,

    Great job on asking her out and congratulations.

    It is best to have a combination of texting and calling.

    At these early stages, it is best to text most days and call perhaps once or twice a week.

    So, in the beginning, you may be doing about 80 percent texting and 20 percent calling.

    However, as time goes on and the both of you are getting to know each other better and going out on more dates, the percentages should become more balanced out so that there is a relatively even blend of the two.

    You shouldn’t ask her, “On which day do we meet?”

    Yes, that is not confident enough.

    You should just give her a day and time.

    If that doesn’t work for her due to her schedule, she will let you know or even volunteer a different day and time that works best for her.

    #21008 Reply

    Shifty

    Hey Luke,

    I just found out I got dicked…
    Uhm I texted her asking if she could go Tuesday. And then she said:

    “Haaai, fun but I see you more as a friend 🙃”

    So that sucks

    #21010 Reply

    Shifty

    Another quick thing, how should I react to this? Because I haven’t responded back to her yet.

    #21011 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Shifty,

    Not to worry.

    It happens to the best of us.

    The important thing is that you made a decisive move in asking her out.

    Now that she has let it be known that she only sees you as a friend, you don’t have to keep torturing yourself in an attempt to figure out whether she likes you.

    So many guys who never drum up the courage to ask a girl out often put themselves in this position.

    You never have to worry about that now.

    As far as the message, you really don’t have to respond to it.

    There really isn’t much else to discuss.

    You should not react to her in any other manner than is the basic norm when you see her at school.

    In other words, you can still be friendly.

    However, you don’t need to spend any quality time with her at school, whether it be at recess or somewhere else, if you don’t really feel like it.

    Start focusing your attention on talking to other girls and asking out the ones that you are interested in.

    It will not be long before you will meet a girl who says yes and follows through.

    #21017 Reply

    Shifty

    Hi Luke,

    Thank you for the kind words. That really helps!

    Also I am extremely proud of myself for having the courage to ask her out.
    Luckily I knew her for just a week (technically 3 weeks) so it doesn’t hurt that much 🙂

    I’ll also be just that with her, friends, she’s a nice girl and I can handle talking to her without feeling sad. Maybe we’ll become great or even best friends and we’ll both have our own significant other.

    #21018 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Shifty,

    You should definitely be proud of yourself for having the courage to ask her out.

    If you have made the decision to be her friend and believe that you can handle talking to her without feeling sad, the more power to you.

    All the best.

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