Used to be romantic, but now he isn’t?

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 3 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #24736

    Afreen Bhati

    I and my boyfriend have been in an exclusive relationship for 4 years and we want keep things private from our families tho they have idea. He would do lot of romantic stuff in beginning and would hold hand kiss etc in public but now he doesn’t do that, since he got on a job, its 6 months and i have communicated multiple times, i sometimes feel like cheating, its that bad i explained to him, he says its not right to do pda else our family will know. But we used to do before and now even if we are far from our residential area, he still wouldn’t, please give me some insight on this, we have broken up 3 months ago and got back together after a week and i don’t want to breakup again! Thanks for hearing me out

    #24740

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Afreen,

    Since he stopped being romantic with you around the time that he got his new job, the source of the problem may be that new job.

    If you have noticed that since he got that job, he has become a lot more stressed and impatient with you, there is a good chance that his job is the source of his unease.

    Stress will often cause a person to avoid affection. Their minds are so wrapped up on what needs to be done at work or whatever office politics may be going on that they become sapped of energy. This often results in an unwillingness to show affection.

    Although he told you that engaging in PDA would lead to your families finding out, that was most likely just an excuse.

    He didn’t seem to have an issue with engaging in PDA with you before. Clearly, he wasn’t fearful about your families finding out about your relationship in those moments.

    It may be to your benefit to have a conversation with him about his job. Let him know that he can talk to you about work and whatever stresses he may be going through.

    He may just need someone that he can talk to about all that. If he is unable to have someone to talk to as an outlet, he will keep all the work-related stress inside. This will cause him to become more and more unwilling to show affection or engage in PDA.

    #24745

    Afreen Bhati

    This makes so much sense now, thanks a lot for the help!! May god bless u!

    #24748

    Luke
    Keymaster

    You are welcome Afreen.

    All the best.

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