We had an argument, and he wants a break

[Susan]

Hello,
I got to asking for advice because I feel hopeless and left with this struggle.
A little hstory: This is my fiirt relationship I’ve ever had. Me and my partner are in more than one year old relationship, and we’ve overcome every problems/or arguments we had. Because of work, we can’t see each other too often. But with spending together at least 7days on holidays each time, and not getting annoyed by each other, I was sure about everything.
But I’m very sensitive and moody person, and with my every second night depression, and fear of future I was also crushing his mood. I couldn’t leave my partner being on his own not even for 5 hours without getting mad at him for ignoring me. He does tried to make me happy, but as he said in argument, I was only pushing his help away.
To get to the point, we had an argment 3 days ago, and right on the end of argument he told me that he wants to take a break, and he was asking me to do the same.
As I was still mad at him, that point didn’t hit me yet. But another morning he told me the same thing and then started ignoring me. I tried to talk about what happened and said I know I’ve gone too far, but his decision stayed the same. At this point, I knew I’ve what I’ve done. Now I’m sobbing to myself all day, lost taste to do anything to entertain me, and I’m scared to death that he will choose to leave me. I just want to tell him that I see it clearly now, and that I’m regreting of not noticng what I didn’t saw.
What should I do? How much time will he need? How do I save it? Will this be an end to our relationship? I still love him even if he didn’t love me..

[LukeKeymaster]

Hi Susan,

You should allow this break to happen.

Do not try to contact him.

If you try to contact him to tell him that you regret your behavior, you would only make him want to take an even longer break.

This is the time that you need to spend building up your sense of self.

You should spend this time working on yourself as opposed to trying to get him back.

That is what he wants you to do.

If all you do is keep trying to contact him in an attempt to get him back, he will know that you are simply being desperate and this will turn him off even more.

He would know that you haven’t done any work on yourself and you are simply trying to get him back so that you don’t feel alone or neglected.

The amount of time he will need depends on how much time he thinks will be required for you to make some changes when it comes to your sensitivity, moodiness, neediness and depression.

Being that the both of you have been in a relationship for over a year and this is the first time that he is asking for a break, it is likely that he will try to reconnect with you within thirty days.

However, in order for this to happen, you have to make sure that you do not try to contact him.

To have any chance at saving your relationship, you will need to put in the work on yourself.

Know what your strengths and weaknesses are.

Work to strengthen your positive characteristics and eliminate your most profound weaknesses.

This is not necessarily the end of your relationship as long as you do not initiate contact with him and you use this break to put in the work on yourself.

[Author]

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