we have distanced but i’m too comfortable

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  • #21315 Reply

    Marshy

    please help!!

    So me and my guy bestfriend have been friends for 3 months now, we get on so well, we are part of a small friendship group and a while ago i told him i liked him and now we have just stayed as friends. since then, we had some bad times, but then we were so good again.
    now, it’s like he is so bipolar, he’s hot and cold with me on text, he airs me on snapchat all the time and then he pops up out of nowhere, i tell him that he does this, he then changes for a week and then goes back to being distant. Maybe it’s because he is so busy, and stressed and by the time it’s the holidays we will meet up again and get along again, or am i just too resilient? am i too comfortable that i’m letting him be rude and treat me in a disrespectful way? i care about him too much to move on and let it go. I think we both annoy each other sometimes, but he never wants to ft anymore, he has almost lost interest in me and lost his respect for me, he doesn’t comment on my posts or anything. what should i do??

    #21317 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Marshy,

    If he has been acting distant for some time, there is a good chance that he will continue being this way even when the both of you meet up again during the holidays.

    It is not necessarily because you are too comfortable with him that you have let him be rude towards you and allowed him to treat you in a disrespectful way.

    It more so that you are in love with him.

    You let him get away with this kind of behavior because you are more afraid of losing him than you are in the level of dispair you feel when he acts this way towards you.

    It may seem as though he has lost interest and respect for you.

    However, in order to truly determine this, it may be best that you give him some space.

    He may have been acting hot and cold towards you on text and snapchat because he knows that you are always looking for attention and acknowledgment from him.

    Knowing this, he may be abusing his power over you in being distant and then coming back again.

    Try to keep your distance for a while.

    Avoid looking and responding to his social media.

    Just live your life for a while.

    Give him the opportunity to start missing you.

    Oftentimes, guys don’t know what they have until they either lose it or worry that they are about to.

    If he truly ever valued his friendship with you, there is a chance that he will start behaving better once he gets a taste of what it is like when you are no longer constantly trying to get his attention or acknowledgment.



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