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Luke 3 years, 8 months ago.
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LiliHello! First of all i like to say thank you for the chance to ask a question.Here the question is. The man who is single for very very long time jokingly said “i would marry you” it happened two times in the last few months.By the way i know him for a few years.Also i get mixed signals from him. For example he looks down and smiles when he sees me, he has a nervous laugh when i am around,sometimes when he entered the room he glance around and as soon as he see me he stop doing that,he remember the things from the past that i told him (even i forget them).And at the same time he is acting another way and after that i think that he is not interested at all.For example when we are together and i ask him to go to eat he says “i have no time for this” and i have to stay hungry,if i ask for some small and simple help onse he will say so once no and if i want just spent time together he usually say “no”. Instead of spending time together he want to give me money to eat and always try to pay for me.When i asked what the problem he said that he don’t want other people see us (it was more like what they will think about us) (i look good and never made him blushgood).And he don’t want to spend time with me even if there is no one around to look at us. Help me to understand this complicated guy,how should i act around him ?
Hi Lili,
When a guy jokingly says, “I will marry you,” it is often because he can actually see himself marrying someone like you.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to marry you specifically.
Oftentimes, he is just indicating that he really enjoys your company and that you have the kind of personality that would make him want to marry someone like you.
The mixed signals that you get from him would indicate that he is unsure about what kind of relationship he wants to have with you.
That’s why sometimes he will look down and smile at you, but other times he says no to helping you or spending time together.
There is just a part of him that worries about appearing to be too soft or too affectionate whenever he is interacting with you.
He may have some personal insecurities when it comes to opening himself up to a woman and making himself somewhat vulnerable by so doing.
He worries that if he were to spend too much quality time with you, he may start getting deeper feelings for you and this scares him.
This is often why he won’t spend time with you even when no one else is around.
Being that he doesn’t want a label to be put on his relationship with you, he typically doesn’t want other people to see the both of you.
He just likes to keep things in limbo.
He doesn’t want to commit to anything, but at the same time, he does enjoy the attention that he gets from you.
Based on his behavior, this is a guy who isn’t ready for a committed relationship and he may not be ready for one any time soon.
Best way to act around him is to play it cool.
Avoid asking him to spend time with you.
Just act as though you don’t really care whether he hangs out with you or not.
In other words, always have other plans.
This is how you start making him feel less important to you.
If he gets this feeling, he may start changing his behavior in an attempt to get more of your attention and this is when he may actually start spending a lot more time with you.
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