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I recently received a message from a guy I met on a dating site advising that he didn’t feel the romantic connection he was hoping for upon meeting me in person. It was odd because he seemed totally interested in me beforehand.
This is not the first time this has happened.
I’m beginning to think I’m disappointing in person. Or maybe guys I meet on dating sites get an idea of what I am like in their heads that doesn’t match reality? Or I’m too anxious when I meet them in person and come off as cold?
So I’m wondering what does it for you. What makes you lose interest upon meeting someone in person?
Hi Layla,
In a lot of cases, people lose interest when the expectations they had set in their minds aren’t met upon meeting in person. This is why you need to be honest when portraying yourself on a dating site.
If you are too gushy about yourself, you set expectations in the minds of others that you can’t possibly meet in real life.
Don’t be afraid to show your flaws on your dating profile and speak of them while chatting. Let them in on your imperfections.
Many people worry that this casts them in a less positive light but it actually shows just how secure you are in yourself that you are willing to be self-deprecating. This is what sets you up to exceed expectations upon meeting someone in person.
It is better to exceed expectations because you didn’t initially set yourself up as the most amazing human being, than it is to disappoint expectations because you set the bar impossibly high for who you truly are as a person.
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