When should I ask her out?

[Roshskanth Alagan]

I have a crush on this girl in class at college who just broke up with her ex of 2 years in December of 2019.

She and I text and talk pretty often and hang out on occasion.

She seems to like spending time with me. The typical laughing, making jokes, offensive banter, having the occasional deep conversation, friendly touches to the arm or shoulder etc. She knows I find her attractive since I’ve called her cute/pretty a handful of times (which she seems to find adorable).

We’ve agreed to hang out together alone in a couple of weeks after our exams end and I really want to ask her out during that time.

But the thing is I’m not sure she’s ready to date again and don’t want her to think I spent all this time with her just to get in her pants. But if I wait any longer there’s a high chance some other guy could come along and ask her (She gets the attention of a lot of guys). Or I might get friend-zoned if I wait too long. (I’ve experienced both scenarios where I waited too long and another dude came in and where I waited too long and I got firmly friend-zoned).

I’ve asked my friends about it and the consensus is that at best she might acknowledge my feelings but the chances of her saying yes to a date are kind of low.

So should I risk freaking her out and just ask her out in a few weeks time or should I wait longer?

[LukeKeymaster]

Hi Roshskanth,

Even if she just broke up with her ex of 2 years in December of 2019, she may have emotionally detached from that relationship months before that.

In other words, she may not need all that much recovery time and may be totally ready to date again.

The two of you have had some positive exchanges that may suggest that she is open to going out on a date with you. With that in mind, it would be best to ask her out and not wait longer.

You have already experienced firsthand what waiting too long to make your move on a girl can cause. It is never worth the risk of ultimately getting friendzoned or having some other guy come in and ask her out instead.

[Roshskanth Alagan]

Thanks for the response, Luke.

I’ll ask her out the day we hang out.

The worst she could say is no and that won’t be so bad.

[LukeKeymaster]

You are welcome Roshskanth.

Exactly. The worst she can say is no.

Not that bad of a price to pay to avoid the dreaded friend zone or having some other guy ask her out instead.

All the best.

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