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Luke 3 years, 6 months ago.
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reneeMe and my ex boyfriend broke up on Monday which was less than a week ago and it was a mutual and quite emotional break up (we basically broke up because we weren’t spending as much time together than we were use to because of college, so we became more distant and it felt more like were were friends). The day we broke up, we talked to each other on text and FaceTime for the rest of the day. The next day, we spoke on text and he was using x’s and telling me he still has feelings for me. then, on wednesday, we would usually hang out and i asked him if he is in the same place i was in , and he replied saying he wasn’t when i seen him with his friends. So later on that day, I thought he was still gunna hang out with me so i wait for him like we usually did for each other, and he told me he couldn’t which was understandable since he had college work to do so he agreed to take me out to eat on sunday instead. Then, yesterday which was thursday, I say hi to him, and he tries to avoid eye contact so i say it again and when he said it back, it was just hella awkward…the same day, he walks into the same building when I’m with my friends and i pretend not to see him and i see from the corner of his eye that he was looking at my direction even as he was turning a corner. I stay in the same place with my friends and then i hear his best friend tell me that he wants me, I wasn’t sure i heard right so i stayed where i was and then he called my name out again but i was mid into explaining something to my friend so i decided to stay put. I then seen him again a few minutes later and if i didn’t say hi, he would’ve walked past without saying it back to me. so ye, later on that day we spoke on text, we had a little argument but it was nothing really. Today, I could see him staring at me from a distance when i was hugging my friend and then later on, i was with his best friend and he slowly approached us and when he did, he looked at me when i wasn’t looking and when i looked, he avoided eye contact, i tried saying hi, i can’t really remember if he said it back but he was just completely avoiding eye contact and it was so obvious however, if i was to tell him he’s doing this, he would completely deny it… so yeah, he walked away almost without saying bye. since tuesday ( a day after the breakup), he’s been liking posts about moving on and stuff and I honestly think he’s just putting a show for his friends to show them that he has moved on whereas to me, he tells me how he still loves me so much and can’t imagine me not being in his life. I want to know if he has moved on because i think, from today, i haven’t been thinking too much about the breakup and because of my amazing friends, I’ve quickly gotten over it. We agreed to maintain a friendship, but his actions are confusing me and I’m not sure how he feels towards me anymore. I really would like to know if he has moved on .
Hi Renee,
Your ex boyfriend hasn’t moved on quite yet.
He is trying to.
That is why he keeps trying to avoid eye contact, but then you end up catching him trying to look at you.
Even though the both of you agreed to maintain a friendship, he is not entirely sure about how to do this.
That is why he is being so awkward with this process.
He doesn’t know how much communicating and acknowledgment is appropriate when two people are trying to maintain a platonic relationship that was only recently a romantic one.
This is why he seems to give and take.
He will talk to you freely over text but then in public, he will try to ignore you as best he can.
He just doesn’t know how to navigate this new type of dynamic that the both of you have.
Until he is able to figure it out, his behavior will continue being this erratic.
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