By Lucas Owen
Be Sure That This Is What You Want
Sometimes, you can be taken by emotion. Perhaps you had a big fight, some really mean things were said and you want out. Perhaps there has been a period of dullness in the relationship that has left you feeling cold and empty. There could be a multitude of reasons why you have come to this point. However, ensure that this decision isn’t being made simply because of something as short-lived as a big argument or otherwise. Evaluate the ENTIRE relationship.
Were Measures Taken To Save The Relationship?
Have you actually had a conversation with your partner to discuss how you feel? Do not assume that just because you haven’t been happy in the relationship that your partner is aware of that. Two people can truly be in the same relationship and yet be miles apart as far as where they are mentally in the relationship. Your partner may truly feel that nothing is wrong with the relationship and has been oblivious to your unhappiness. Before you make such a drastic move of ending the relationship, ensure that you have an honest discussion with your partner and let them know how you feel. You may be able to determine if a relationship should be saved or ended by a mere honest conversation.
How do you feel when you are around your partner? Is there an emotional distance? It’s important to be aware of just how you feel around your partner. Mistaking a temporary sense of detachment can easily be course for ending an otherwise salvageable relationship. However, if there is no emotional resonance in the relationship whatsoever, then you may be at the point where ending the relationship may be the only recourse.
Be Prepared For An Emotional And Physical Void
You have been used to your partner being around. Even though you have reached the point where you feel it is best to end the relationship, ensure that you are prepared for the void that will follow. There will be a period of adjustment where your partner is no longer going to be around. Believe it or not, you can easily get depressed or lonely during this time. Hence, be prepared for this and ensure that you have a good network of friends around you or activities planned that can help fill the void.
Can you see yourself living without this person? Do look ahead and imagine what your life would be like without them around. It’s always a good sign if you can see hope and a bright future ahead. However, if that future looks murky, then you may need to do some reevaluation of the situation.
Talk to people you know who have ended relationships. Pay attention to what they tell you about what they went through during and after the process. Use their feedback to empower yourself and refortify your position. If you are feeling nothing but certainty after these discussions, you are ready.
Get your partner in a one on one setting and tell them that you want to end the relationship. Advice them that you have thought about it and have made your decision. You may be worried about the pain this may cause your partner and may be hesitant to use this point blank approach. However, it is important to be as honest as possible with your partner because this will help you end the relationship with a clean slate. If you aren’t definitive in your encounter with your partner they may feel that there is still hope in the relationship. You want to avoid this at all costs. Avoid showing emotion. Do not cry, get angry, get frustrated or be overly anxious during the conversation. Showing emotion could cause ambiguity for both you and your future ex-partner which will only worsen the situation.
All in all, in order to end a relationship, a great deal of evaluation both internally and externally is needed. This evaluation is what strengthens you and creates no doubt in your mind.
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