By Lucas Owen
Anal sex is one of the most pleasurable sexual acts that you can engage in with your partner. However, in order to enjoy this experience, it’s crucial to understand just how it works. It can be so easy to mess it up and ruin the experience for both you and your partner. Here is how you go about engaging in anal sex the right way.
Please, please, please, make sure that you talk to your partner before you even think about putting anything inside their anus. This is no time to be spontaneous and daring. Anal sex is not like vaginal entry. You need to talk to your partner first and see how they truly feel about it. It should not be forced. The both of you HAVE to be in agreement, otherwise, the one reluctant partner will be very uncomfortable throughout the process and the experience will be ruined.
Have Regular Bowel Movements
In other words, you should eat foods that are rich in fiber such as whole wheat bread, black beans and whole wheat pasta. Also, water fruits such as grapefruit, watermelon, peach and plums are good. Don’t forget raw water vegetables like cucumber, tomatoes and lettuce. Not only are these good for your health but they also induce consistent bowel movements. If you are the one receiving, regular and consistent bowel movements will better your anal sex experience because it will consistently clear out your lower intestinal tract.
Obviously, the anus’s primary function is the defecation of feces. Hence, it’s a good idea to take a shower and clean the area thoroughly before you and your partner begin to have anal sex. This cleanliness is also important during the act itself. Avoid moving your fingers or any other part of your body that has been in contact with your partner’s anus to another part of your partner’s body, without cleaning them first. This is because you could bring trace elements of feces with you that could lead to infection. Hence, always have some baby wipes or wet towels nearby.
The anus releases a small amount of mucus and sweat which is nowhere near the amount of lubrication you need when engaging in anal sex. Hence, ensure that you have lots of lubrication on hand. The best lubricants for anal sex are water-based lubricants such as KY Liquid, Astro Gel or Liquid Silk. Water-based lubricants help in making anal penetration a lot easier. They are also a lot less irritating to the anus than other types of lubricants and are very compatible with latex and polyurethane condoms.
It’s very important that the two of you are very relaxed before anal sex. A great way to do this is to take long, deep breaths together or have some wine beforehand. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed your muscles. Especially when it comes to the sphincter muscles.
Be Aware of the Sphincter Muscles
If you insert your finger about an inch into your partner’s anus and press it against the side wall, you will feel two muscles that are barely an inch apart. These are the sphincter muscles. The external sphincter muscle is voluntary and is controlled by the central nervous system. Because it is voluntary, it can be easily controlled. However, the internal sphincter muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system and is involuntary. This means that it is a lot harder for your partner to control the muscles in this part of the body. Hence why it is so important for the two of you to be relaxed before you start.
Use Your Tongue And Fingers First
Avoid jumping right into it with a penile penetration. This will cause a lot of pain and discomfort. Start with your tongue or your fingers. Place some lubricant on your finger and slip it into the anus. Gently move it around. Then you can lick around the anus. This is called “rimming” or “analingus” and is very effective in preparing your partner for penile anal penetration.
Penetrate At A Slow And Gradual Pace
Remember that the internal sphincter is involuntary. It will naturally tighten when it senses something trying to penetrate. That is why it is so important to start penile penetration with very slow and deliberate movements. But first, the lubricant. There is no such thing as using too much lube where anal sex is involved. Apply a generous amount in and around the anus beforehand. Start with a very short penile penetration of about an inch, then stop. Pull back out completely before going in again for another inch. Do this very slowly and deliberately. It may take you several minutes before you are fully inside your partner. Listen and watch your partner throughout. If they react negatively, stop and give it a moment. The more relaxed your partner is, the easier it will be to fully penetrate.
Understand The Rectum Lining
Even though you are fully inside the anus, your initial thrusts should be slow and gentle. Don’t go rodeo crazy now that you have succeeded in complete penetration. The internal lining of the rectum is very delicate and can easily tear if you start pumping away. This leads to incredible pain and infection. Hence, go slow and build a gradual rhythm.
Positioning – Even though the most popular position in anal sex is the doggy style, there are some others that you should try. Here are some great examples of anal sex positions with you as the giver and your partner as the receiver.
- Side Anal – Your partner lays on their side with their back to you. You lay behind your partner and penetrate from that angle. This position is very effective because of its full accessibility to the anal area.
- The Wheelbarrow – This is a variant to the traditional doggy style position. You come at your partner from behind and hold your partner’s legs up in the air like you would the handles of a wheelbarrow. Your partner supports their body by either using their arms or they may simply lay flat on the bed.
- Back to Front – You lay on your back with your knees bent. Your partner lays on top of you with their back to your front. They spread their legs and bend their knees. This position is very effective in anal penetration because of the upward trajectory of the penis.
- Missionary – The missionary position is not only reserved for vaginal penetration. It’s also a great position for anal sex. Prop a pillow below the pelvic area of your partner as they lay back. This allows easy access to the anus due to the upward angle of your partner’s body. You kneel in front of your partner and penetrate from this angle. This position is also very helpful in keeping the muscles of the anus relaxed.
Anal sex is one of the most pleasurable forms of sex there is because of just how highly sensitive and erogenous the anus is. However, it is also an area that is very susceptible to Sexually Transmitted Diseases. It’s best to engage in anal sex with either the use of condoms or some other form of latex protection. Otherwise, if you choose to go at it without protection, do ensure that you and your partner have both been tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases beforehand.
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