By Lucas Owen
You may have reached a point in your relationship where the spark seems to have vanished in your sex life. There is nothing unusual about this as most couples experience a decrease in both sexual activity and the enjoyment of sex after having settled into a long term relationship. However, there is a remedy. You can bring back the spark that once was in your sex life and have better sex. Here is how you can do it.
Have An Open Conversation
The lack of communication is one of the biggest downfalls of sex in a relationship. In order to have a better sex life, it is so important to open the channel of communication with your partner. Tell them about how you feel about your sex life. Be open with each other about trying new ways of having sex that you haven’t done before. Discover if there are any emotional discrepancies in your relationship that may be affecting your sex life. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Take The Initiative
Sometimes, all it takes is one of you taking the initiative and making the first move. As human beings, we are naturally creatures of habit. When we fall into a certain routine, it tends to be very difficult to break it because we fall into a comfort zone. If you have both settled into a mundane sexual routine, you may have to be the one to step up and initiate doing something different. This may take your partner by surprise but the more you do this, the more your partner will feel the need to return the favor.
Have Sex Outside Of The Bedroom
A reason why your sex life may be boring could also be because of where you have it. The bedroom is a safe place to have sex and hence you have it there. The bedroom may also be what’s killing your sex life. Have sex somewhere else in the house e.g. on top of the kitchen counter, on the laundry machine, in the garage, in the basement or attic, on your kitchen or dining room table, on your back porch, even in your closet. Changing things up a bit will add a different edge to your sex life and make it a little more interesting. But you can take this further.
Have Sex Outside Of The House
Talk about a change in location! Become a little more daring and have sex outside of your home. You can either plan the location or be spontaneous. Take a trip into the woods, find a rooftop, rent a room at a hotel, find an abandoned building, get on a subway train at night when there are no other passengers, get in the back of a public transportation bus with no passengers, lock yourselves in a private bathroom at a local restaurant, the list is endless. The point is, by doing this, not only do you create excitement in the act of sex itself but you also feel energized, due to the risky nature of where you are. In other words, the entire process becomes a thrill. You will find yourself excitedly beginning to wonder where else you can try or how much you’d like to try a particular location again. All of this gets you thinking about sex and creates a strong spark in your sex life.
Sleep And Exercise
You’d be surprised at how many couples complain about not getting enough sleep. Perhaps it’s the pressure of the work week, chores at home or perhaps the responsibility of taking care of the kids and their needs. Unfortunately, in many of these cases there is also a lack of exercise. Getting enough sleep enables your body to re-energize itself. Also, according to numerous studies, ensuring that you exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet enables an increase in blood flow throughout your body, including your genitals. You will have better sex by getting enough sleep and exercising because your entire body will be energized, which ultimately leads to a higher libido.
Learn Something New About Your Partner
Since you have settled into your relationship, you may feel that you know everything that there is to know about your partner. The truth is, there is always something new you can learn about your partner. Put out the effort in learning something new about your partner. You will find that this exercise essentially gives you a fresh perspective on your partner. When you have a fresh perspective, you may feel some re-ignition of that spark that has been lost or become dulled by routine. This ultimately leads to better sex.
Play Board Or Card Games With A Sexy Twist
You would be surprised at what a deck of cards or a board game can do for your sex life. Here are a few you can try:
- Strip Poker – You can play the Five Card Draw. Whoever shows the worst cards takes off an
item of clothing.
- Strip Dice – You can play this a number of ways. You can guess what number the dice will fall
on when you roll it or whether the dice will fall on a number that is greater than or less than 3
for instance. Either way, whoever guesses incorrectly has to take off an item of clothing.
- Strip Monopoly – You can make up your own rules on this one. For example, every time a player
has to pay to get out of jail, they have to pay by taking off an item of clothing.
- Strip Scrabble – Again, you make up your own rules. For example, for every Double or Triple
Word Score a player gets, they get to choose what item of clothing they want to see their
partner take off.
Get out of the mundane and try something out of the ordinary. Role playing is a great way to have better sex because you both get to play a character. Whether you play the librarian, house helper, office executive, firefighter or police officer, role playing will always provide an interesting edge to your sex life and make it more exciting. It’s escape, fantasy and reality, all rolled into one.
The brain is the largest sex organ in your body. Using words alone can actually get your partner to either have an orgasm or get them close. Talk to each other while having sex. Tell your partner how much you are enjoying it, how much they turn you on and just where it feels good. This exercise actually helps better your sex life in more ways than one. Firstly, through communication, your partner will know what feels good to you and will consequently continue doing it. Secondly, the words used trigger emotional sensations in the brain which elevates your sexual experience. Thirdly, the words also trigger an increased blood flow throughout the body which leads to increased stamina. Swearing is okay if you choose to do so. However, don’t go overboard with too many vulgar words. This exercise is more about getting in harmony with the sensations that your partner is feeling through their words as opposed to showing off just how many vulgar words you can say in ten different languages.
Change Sex Positions
Most couples have sex in the missionary position, where the man lays on top of the woman. Try to change your regular sex positions to something different. There are numerous sex positions that you can try. The last time I checked, there were well over 500 sex positions. Hence, you are bound to find at least a couple of new sex positions that you will both enjoy. Be adventurous and get out of your regular routine.
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