The Valentine’s Day Hoax?

 

Valentine’s day is a tradition that began in the Middle Ages. It is done in recognition of St Valentine, a christian martyr. Who was St. Valentine? Quite frankly, no one truly knows. St Valentine could actually have been one of three individuals who were martyred between AD 197 and AD 269. Why was St Valentine’s name attributed to romance? Again, no one truly knows. To confound the issue, the Roman Catholic Church who martyred St. Valentine actually removed the Feast Day of St. Valentine from the official General Roman Calendar in 1969 for reasons unknown.

The fact is the true existence of a St. Valentine continues to be a mystery. Balza, a small village in Malta, has claimed that several relics of St. Valentine can be found there. Other wide ranging legends have persisted over the years. One of them lays claim to the fact or myth that St. Valentine was a priest who performed marriage ceremonies for young men against the wishes of Roman Emperor Claudius II. Allegedly, Roman Emperor Claudius II did not want young men marrying because he believed that unwed men were better warriors in his armies. St Valentine was consequently jailed by the emperor and on the day he was to be executed, St. Valentine wrote a final letter to the girl he loved titled, “From Your Valentine.”

Again, nothing has been proven. Not St. Valentine, not the relics and not this final, romantic letter from St. Valentine. So, for all intents and purposes, Valentine’s Day may be a hoax. The question is, “Who had us all bamboozled and why?” I can see where the Roman Church may have had something to gain with the theme of “love.” After all, isn’t love what most religions espouse? However, even the Roman Catholic Church distanced itself from February 14 to some extent when they officially removed St. Valentine’s Day from their calendar.

Perhaps, it was Geoffrey Chaucer who wrote the first poem that was attributed to Valentine’s Day in 1382 called “Parlement of Foules.” The famous phrase in the poem was, “For this was on seynt Volantynys day,
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.” For those not too fond of medieval English, like yours truly, the translation would be, “”For this was Saint Valentine’s Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate.” After this poem was released, everyone assumed that Chaucer was talking about February 14. But again, there was no solid proof of this.

There seems to be a familiar set of themes developing here: collective amnesia, aspiration, imagination and undying hope. I mean, the Roman Catholic Church suddenly developed a form of amnesia when they took St. Valentine’s Day off the official calendar. All of a sudden, they didn’t seem so clear on the man they had made a martyr of years earlier. Better we just take his day off our calendar and leave it at that.

The villagers of Balza imagine that they have St. Valentine’s relics without any real proof and won’t take no for an answer.

The legend of St Valentine writing his first “Valentine” to the woman he loved on the day of his execution aspires to what we believe love should be. Even at those dying moments, all St Valentine could think of was of the woman he loved.

And in Chaucer’s poem, we experience the undying hope that one fateful day we shall meet that mate who has come to share in our lives, and be our one true soul mate just like those birds.

When we are in love, we forget all that is wrong with the world and start living as though we have just been pulled out of our mother’s womb. It’s like we are experiencing “amnesia.” We start “aspiring” to life and the endless possibilities ahead with our mate. We “imagine” perfection and no matter what, we never let that “hope die.”

In the end, it doesn’t seem to matter whether St. Valentine ever truly existed. His legacy or lack there of is a testament to that emotion that most humans hold more precious than anything else, love.

 

Is Beauty A Curse For Women?

Emotional Affair: What Are The Signs?We tend to believe that beautiful women have the world handed to them on a platter. They get the coolest friends, the cushy jobs, the leagues of endless male admirers, are picked out from the long lines at night clubs and given VIP treatment, have their way with little to no effort, and the list goes on.

Beauty may provide all these advantages. However, I have heard a fair share of complaints from beautiful women about their plight. Yes, you don’t want to hear some inauthentic “woe is me” plea for empathy from someone who has so many advantages. However, consider the big picture for some of these beautiful women.

Imagine if just about every one that wants to get close to you does so because of how you look. In fact, this can lead to the point where you simply become a caricature and not a human being. Beautiful women often complain about not being taken seriously. If they try to voice an opinion about something, people may make a halfhearted effort to hear them out but at the end of it all, some of those folks are just thinking, “Just shut up, sit there and be eye candy”. Beautiful women in the corporate world tend to experience this. What do you think stuff like this does to their self esteem? It knocks it down quite a few notches. A beautiful woman with self esteem issues sounds like an oxymoron, but it does exist.

What about the issue of beautiful women and their leagues of male admirers? Whether these beautiful women are on online dating sites, at the night clubs or some other public arena, they are consistently hammered with messages and men approaching them. I know what you are thinking. Why should we feel bad for someone who receives this kind of attention? Well, when people want a piece of you in every which way, it is not hard for these women to simply start seeing themselves as some kind of item at an auction being bid on by an army of starry eyed men. Have you ever truly wondered what it feels like to be seen as an object? It might be welcome at first but after a while you are probably going to be begging the auctioneer to cover you with a blanket.

Being beautiful gave her a special place in society until she got older or began to gain some weight. What happens to her when she is not getting those amorous smiles from men? What happens when she is no longer the one being singled out by her group of friends as the Alpha Female. Yes, as her beauty and body fades with age, she is now in a terrifying conundrum. What she has known her whole life is slipping away. To some extent, how she had defined herself as a person based on the eyes of others is indeed vanishing like the smoke from a vanquished candle. She is lost, confused and scared. She saw what happened to her beautiful mother before her and doesn’t want the same thing to happen to her. Hence depression ensues fomented by denial. Actions follow in the hopes of slowing down the process. Surgery, severing ties with some friends, crash diets, bold purchases, anger and jealousy to those women who are taking her place and so on.

This is not indicative of all beautiful women and their unique experiences. However, there can be no denial that beauty can have its drawbacks. So, the next time you see that beautiful woman walking down the street or through a building, understand that she is a living, breathing human being who may actually not be too fond of having the world at her feet.

Why Rejection Is Good For Men

Infidelity In Marriage: Why Married Men CheatThere is something that scares most man even more than losing the controls to their latest video game and that is rejection. In fact, this has been something that has plagued him ever since he was a child. In grade school, when he was trying to be break in to his new group of friends, the last thing he wanted was to do something wrong and be rejected from the group.

Now, he is all grown up and single. He will tell himself everything from “the sun will not come up in the morning if I do this” to “this is too forward and I would be violating her space” to stop himself from telling a woman about his interest in her. So, again, he remains single.

Online dating sites are now a possibility in his mind, after all, it has to be easier finding a woman on there than in real life. Wrong! Online dating sites may be one of the best ways to find that woman, but the chances are still likely that he will experience, yes, “rejection” as well. Women on online dating sites receive so many messages that it is impossible to keep up with all of them. So they pick and choose the best messages and profiles to respond to.

Now, there is something to be said about what online dating sites can do for you. When your message isn’t responded to by a woman of interest, what do you do? What should you do? In fact, what should you have been doing from the moment you became a member of the dating website. Spreading your wings. Yes, that means sending messages to a good number of women. Most will probably, yes, “reject” you. So, what do you do now?

Online dating sites can actually give you good practice for approaching women in real life. The more women you send messages to, the more likely you will experience rejection. But here’s the thing. If you practice enough, you will get to the point where the rejection just becomes another day in the life of. Heck, you can even wear them with pride, like the badges on a general’s uniform.

Once you get to that point where you simply don’t care anymore, you will become a stud. Yes, that’s right. You will not be afraid to send messages to women on dating sites. You will not be afraid to approach women in real life either.

What do you see when you walk out there into the real world? How many attractive women do you see at the arm of an average looking guy? Lots. Your problem is not your looks, it’s your fear. When you get over that hump of fearing “rejection” you are well on your way to success in the dating game.

Look, this is the way I see it. If you do not take a chance and spread those wings while you are at it, you will be alone on your death bed one day wondering where you went wrong. Life is all about choices and taking chances.

Yes indeed, men, rejection is good.

The 9 Best Cities For Online Dating In The US

Internet Dating – Why Internet Dating Is The Best OptionHave you ever wondered just how popular online dating sites are in your city? Well, SNAP Interactive, the company that is well known for its social dating app Are You Interested, recently conducted a study to determine the 9 best cities for online dating in the US. The study was based on how active the online dating communities are in these cities. See if your city made the list:

9. Philadelphia
8. Dallas
7. Phoenix
6. Indianapolis
5. Denver
4. Los Angeles
3. Chicago
2. Houston
1. New York

 

Also, be sure to read my reviews of some of the best dating sites on the web.



Making Online Dating Easier