By Lucas Owen
Do A Reassessment
Before you can pursue any kind of reconciliation you first have to do a reassessment of your relationship. Try to figure out some areas where you may have gone wrong in the relationship. Some areas to look at may be some of the things you would say to your ex often that your ex didn’t appreciate or certain behaviors you displayed around your ex. Write them down. These will help you understand what may need changing.
Ask Your Ex For An Honest Conversation
Oftentimes it is easy to feel like you did nothing wrong and that you were the perfect partner. The truth is that you could have done and said things during the relationship that your ex didn’t like and secretly harbored resentment. Try to have your ex talk candidly to you about what went wrong in the relationship. Ensure that your ex understands that it’s merely a conversation and not an inquisition.
Maintain A Good Relationship With Your Ex’s Friends
Oftentimes when people break up, they also break up with the friends of their ex. It is in your best interest to maintain a good relationship with your ex’s friends. You shouldn’t overdo it however. To be on the safe side, bring some of your other friends along when you hang out with your ex’s friends so that it isn’t too awkward.
Maintain A Good Relationship With Your Ex’s Family
If you got to meet your ex’s parents or family members during your relationship and they liked you, be sure to stay in touch. Something as simple as sending goodwill cards every so often will ensure that you stay in their good graces. This will prompt them to bring up your name every now and then when they talk to your ex. This will help tremendously in sending subconscious reminders about you to your ex.
Build An Exciting Life
While you are intent on getting your ex back, try not to become too myopic. A great way to prevent this is to build an exciting life around you. Find out what events are coming up in your community and take part. The more of these you participate in, the more people within the community will speak good things about you and you may even get your picture in the local newspaper. All this will eventually get back to your ex and they will see just how attractive you are becoming to others. This will make your ex begin to think about the relationship and subconsciously focus on the good parts. They will start to wonder if there was something they missed or perhaps that you have changed an element of your personality for the better.
Send Your Ex An Occasional Text or Email
Unless your ex expressly forbade you to contact them after the break up, do make it a point to send the occasional text or email wishing them well and nothing more. Even if your ex never responds to these messages, it doesn’t matter. Every time they read them, they will think of you. One day, they could receive this text or email at a time that they are strongly reevaluating their past relationship mistakes and that could bode well for you. However, do ensure that you do not overdo this as it could cause your ex to become irritated.
Visit Familiar Spots
Find a friend who is of the same sex as your ex and ask them if they’d casually go out with you. Visit the spots that both you and your ex used to go to. If you do not have friends you can ask to do this with you then you can always try using online dating sites. Friendfinder.com has several relationship categories to choose from and you can actually find people who just want to date casually. Ensure that they are clear that this is merely for fun and nothing else. Enjoy yourself when you visit those familiar spots. There is a good chance you will eventually run into someone who knows your ex. They will report back to your ex just how much fun they saw you having and with whom. This could make all the difference.
If getting back with your ex is what you want, these methods will help you. Even though the process does require time and patience, that is a good thing. As the saying goes, “Time heals all wounds,” even those experienced during a relationship. Good luck.
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