Online Dating: Do People Actually Know What They Want?

Online Dating: Do People Actually Know What They Want?

Unfortunately, many people get on dating apps to figure out what they want.

This isn’t good news to you, considering you know what you want.

It is made that much more worse when she states that she is seeking a serious relationship, making you believe your wants are aligned, only to find out later that she doesn’t actually know what she wants.

It’s a waste of time and leaves you immensely disheartened.

The thing is, these are people who are hoping that they figure it out while they are in the process of online dating.

She isn’t sure she is emotionally ready to get into a relationship with anyone.

Sometimes, she doesn’t know that she is still hooked on a previous relationship until she has chatted with several matches, and finally realizes that she isn’t over her ex.

Upon breaking up with said ex, she thought she was over him, but as she went about online dating, she learned that she wasn’t.

Now she has a match like you feeling completely bummed, after having spent weeks chatting with her, and thinking that there was a connection establishing.

There are those who feed off of what seems to be the general consensus on a dating app.

When she keeps seeing dating profiles that are looking for serious relationships, she chooses the option that she is looking for a serious relationship.

The same applies if she so happens to see a consensus of dating profiles looking for casual relationships, friendships, etc.

She conforms to whatever she sees as a consensus of what people on the dating app are looking for, believing that this must be what she should want too.

Inevitably, as the days or weeks go by, she realizes that she isn’t feeling it anymore, and switches to the next consensus.

The same thing happens.

After a few days or weeks of forcing herself to believe that she wants the consensus relationship, it loses its luster.

Her energy wanes, and she moves on to the next consensus.

That consensus leads to the same result.


She is back to square one.

Lost, she looks to her friends to see what relationships they are primarily involved in.

In seeing that all of her friends are involved in serious relationships, she makes herself believe that this must be it.

Being that she already tried this with a consensus strategy on a dating app, she decides to involve her friends in the process this time around.

There must have been something she missed the last time.

Her friends tell her who she should swipe right on.

Like a puppet, she follows their advice and is back at it again.

She matches with you.

Similar to her friends who are all in serious relationships, you are seeking a serious relationship.

She chats with you for a period of time, and the inevitable happens.

She loses the energy, which subsequently leads to a loss of interest.

All of a sudden, she isn’t replying to your messages as quickly as she once was, nor is she initiating conversations as she used to.

Inevitably, the ongoing conversation you were having with her peters out, and she stops replying to you altogether.