Since you matched with him on a dating app, the chemistry has been seemingly good.
Text messages back and forth have been promising.
It wasn’t long before the two of you made loose plans to meet up for drinks on a date.
Great.
A few text messages have happened since, but there is a problem.
The date is nigh and you are yet to receive a confirmation text from him.
You are at a loss for what to do.
Traditionally, you have waited on men to confirm a date.
But, you met this guy on a dating app.
Maybe things are different on dating apps.
You are new to online dating.
That being said, you feel uneasy about having to be the one to message him to confirm the date.
It doesn’t feel right to you and the last thing you want is to make a move that makes you look desperate or overly aggressive.
There is truth in how you are translating all of this.
Although you are new to online dating, be aware that courtship on dating apps isn’t different from what it is in real life.
Men are still expected to make the first move on dating apps.
Women generally receive the first message from men and men are the ones who instigate most of the requests to meet for dates.
So, online dating is a reflection of what real life dating is, just amplified, given the vast number of people who use dating apps.
Take solace in knowing that online dating is no different from real life dating in terms of who generally makes the first approach and does the asking out.
That being said, online dating has made a number of women bolder in how they approach dating.
In comparison to real life, women are more brazen on dating apps.
Some do make the first move.
They send the first message and do the asking out.
These are in the minority.
The majority of women on dating apps have a traditional mindset when it comes to dating and want to be courted.
As far as who should send a message to confirm the date, you should let him do it.
The women who allow men to take the reins when it comes to courtship often get the best results.
Men who aren’t aggressive in pursuing a woman aren’t serious about her.
This means he is intent on putting out minimum effort.
In messaging him to confirm the date, you have assumed the traditional male role.
From here, it gets worse.
You are the one making the plans for future dates and setting them up, while he gets to sit back.
Once you show a guy that you are willing to be the aggressor, he doesn’t put in the work.
This is a killer in courtship.
When a guy isn’t pursuing, he isn’t seeing the woman as the prize, which in turn lowers her value to him.
When you are the one doing the pursuing, it lessens your desirability and his emotional investment in you.
Although you like this guy, you are better off leaving it to him to confirm the date.
Guys are wired to go after women.
As aforementioned, online dating has instigated a little nudge to tradition, but overall, men and women continue to play traditional roles in the digital dating world.
The moment you start chasing a guy is the moment you have sent the signal that it is okay for him to put his feet up and let you do most of the work.
This bodes badly for a woman who is seeking out a guy for a long-term relationship.