When you exchange social media information with a girl you have been conversing with on a dating app, you are giving her access to your life.
She isn’t just using Instagram to send you DMs.
She uses it to get a wider perspective on what your life is like and what the people in it are like.
So yes, she is looking through your Instagram followers.
Although you have full control over what you choose to share on Instagram, she knows that in looking through your Instagram followers she gains insight into what you have no control over.
Short of accepting someone as a follower, you don’t have any control over what your followers elect to post on their individual Instagram accounts.
In looking through your Instagram followers, she gets to do some investigation into the quality of people you have chosen to have as followers.
What are those followers posting on their accounts?
She puts her private investigator hat on and goes on a journey.
The quality of your followers gives her a perspective on you that isn’t within your control.
You had the control to write whatever you wanted to about yourself on the dating app.
It sounded good when she read it, but is that the real you?
The photos you posted on your dating profile were nice and all, but you were letting her in on what you wanted her to see.
The stuff you had control over.
You have the same control over your Instagram account.
Of course, it’s lovely to see that you went on a trip to the Bahamas recently and posted phenomenal photos of it on Instagram to share with your followers.
That draws parallels with the trip she took to Bali not so long ago.
It’s nice to see that you two share a love of travel.
Yet, she isn’t totally sold on you.
Similar to your dating profile, your Instagram account is a space you have full control over and can use to publish whatever makes you look good.
In looking through your followers, she believes she now has a vantage point that is beyond your control.
All you had control over was in accepting those people as followers.
A significant measure of what a person is about is in who he has as friends.
At this stage, she hasn’t met your friends in person.
She doesn’t have the advantage of sizing them up in person.
The next closest thing she has to measuring you up as a person is in who you have as followers on social media.
She looks through your followers to give her that perspective.
Does the quality of those who follow you on Instagram correlate with who you have presented yourself to be as a person?
Your dating profile and Instagram account has given her the impression you are a certain type of person.
Do your followers match that?
If she looks through your Instagram followers and notices a pattern in which they contradict the personality and lifestyle you have conveyed in your dating profile and Instagram, she is going to become suspicious.
In giving her your social media, you are giving her access to not just you, but the people you have as followers.
Where there is a disparate divide between who you are portraying yourself to be versus the quality of the followers you have, you open yourself up to turning her off and losing her interest.